Total pages in book: 113
Estimated words: 109086 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 545(@200wpm)___ 436(@250wpm)___ 364(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 109086 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 545(@200wpm)___ 436(@250wpm)___ 364(@300wpm)
My stomach dipped.
He smoothed a hand back up the side of my thigh, his fingers sinking into my skin. “Tab was . . .” He hesitated, a shadow flitting over his face. “Tab was my escape. I was still—Jesus. I have to tell you all of it to make you understand.”
The air grew thick. Tense.
I quieted, knowing this was important. I reached for his hand.
He didn’t look at me, instead focusing on our hands. “First time I killed someone, I was twelve.”
Pain sliced through me.
He continued, his voice hoarse, “My dad found out when I was fourteen, and he didn’t agree with the direction my uncles wanted me to go with the business.”
“The Mafia business?”
His eyes lifted, haunted. “I was being trained to be their personal assassin. Not just their assassin, but one that they could sell my services for others.”
My heart shattered.
“When my dad found out, he left the family business.” He was so rigid. “I didn’t, though.”
“What? How?”
“With my family leaving the business, they were pissed. They exiled them, effectively cutting them off from everything. I could see it was hurting my mom not to be able to talk to my other aunts. Some of them were close. So I went to my uncle and struck a deal. I’d continue my services if they’d ease up on some of the restrictions.”
“Your dad didn’t know?”
“No. It got better, a little bit. But I needed a cover for why I was leaving the house all the time. Tab and I started dating early in high school. She didn’t know what was going on. She just knew I did something for my family off the books and thought it was cool. We were dating, but I mostly used her as a cover in the beginning. After a bit, it grew more real. She became my escape in a lot of ways. I hated lying to my parents. I hated doing what my uncles were making me do, but my mom was happy. Then . . . Tab got pregnant and I did what I had to do.”
“What happened?”
“Tab’s dad had political ambitions. He was a judge back then. He’s also a piece of shit as a husband, father, and person. He found out and went crazy. He forced her to divorce me after EJ was born.”
“Did you fight it? Did you want the marriage?”
His eyes lifted to mine, a stark expression in them. “No.” He sighed again. “I didn’t want to be married, to be honest. We’d been together for three years in high school.”
“Your family was against the marriage too?”
He nodded, his gaze falling back to my chest, slowly descending. “My parents were okay with it. They wanted to support me, do what they could, but Tab’s father went to my uncles and promised to use all his resources to go after the family if they didn’t make me go through with the divorce. They . . . forced my hand. Said they would tell my parents what I’d been doing for them. I . . . I think my uncles were picking their battles, and I guess I did too. I didn’t love her enough to go against my family, or hers. When Tab realized I wasn’t going to fight it, she took off to California. Took EJ with her.”
“She took your son from you? Did you follow her?”
His hand ran to the back of my thigh, pulling me tighter against him. “At first, yeah. I moved into a place down the block and got a job. My uncles left me alone, and things were okay. I enjoyed having the freedom, but then my parents were in a car accident.”
“Jake,” I murmured, my palm against his chest again.
“They didn’t make it, and there was Justin. He was still a teenager. My uncles offered to take him in, but fuck if I was going to let them brainwash him to be like them. I knew what they would do to him, so I went back to raise him. Tab refused to come with me. That was when her father asked for a meeting. He was powerful by then, and he threatened me. Said he could make my family’s life hell if I didn’t agree to leave Tab and my son alone. I didn’t believe him, told him to fuck off. Nothing and no one was going to come between my son and me, you know? I was young and pissed. My parents just died. I’d already divorced her, but there was no way I was going to give up being a part of my son’s life. I didn’t give a fuck what he said. The family didn’t rally around us after my parents’ death. They died while they were exiled so the family didn’t see it any other way. Even in death, they were still exiled.