Total pages in book: 94
Estimated words: 91363 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 457(@200wpm)___ 365(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91363 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 457(@200wpm)___ 365(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
Tillie held the phone back to her ear. After a few seconds, her lips moved. She frowned and hung up the phone.
“Hey!” I hurried and picked it back up.
She hung up.
“What?” I shook my head. “No. You must have gotten disconnected.”
I don’t think so. She hung up on purpose.
I dialed her number again and handed the phone to Tillie, who rolled her eyes. After a long pause, she hung up.
She’s not answering.
“You didn’t wait long enough.”
It rang ten times.
I scrubbed my hands over my face and grumbled, “Dammit, Gabbs. Pick up the phone.”
Sorry.
Tillie set the pen on the paper and patted my shoulder before leaving my room.
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
WHITNEY HOUSTON, “THE GREATEST LOVE OF ALL”
Gabby
Ben had no right telling my parents about the pregnancy. Even if it was his baby, too, it wasn’t his news to share with my parents. So much for holding my chin up and shoulders back to take responsibility like an adult. Ben made me look like a scared child.
He called five times over the following two days, and I hung up as soon as I heard his voice.
Late Wednesday afternoon, while I was trying to study for my psychology test, there was a knock at my door. Despite my anger toward Ben, I wanted it to be him.
“Mom,” I said on a gasp.
She hugged me without a word, and just like when Ben showed up unexpectedly, I broke down in tears and stated the thing that she already knew, “I’m pregnant.”
“I know,” she whispered, hugging me tighter.
It was hard to release her and look her in the eyes, but I did while wiping my tears. “Where’s Dad?” I asked, closing the door.
“Home.” She glanced around my room.
“I’m sorry Ben was the one who told you.” I sat on my bed and tucked my knees under a large T-shirt.
Mom returned a slight nod while looking out my window, arms hugging herself. She had a nervous disposition that felt like my own. “You didn’t have to keep it.”
I squinted. “The baby?”
She nodded, leaving me speechless.
“When you were almost twelve, I got pregnant.” She turned toward me, displaying a vulnerability I had never seen. “I was done raising babies. It felt like it was anything but a blessing, a gift from God. I felt weak and hopeless. And I just …” She shook her head. “I didn’t want to do it. I couldn’t.” She wiped a few tears. “So I took a bottle of pills. And I was gone for a few days. Your dad told you girls I was having some routine testing. And that was it. No baby.”
I cleared my throat. “You took the pills to kill the baby?”
Mom’s face tensed while she averted her gaze.
She took the pills to kill herself.
“Gabriella,” she sat next to me and squeezed my hand, “I know your dad preaches that God doesn’t give us more than we can handle, but … I don’t know if that’s true.”
She blew up my world.
I wanted to be my mom—hard-working, a loving mom, and loyal wife. I had always admired her strong faith and commitment to our family. Of course, I knew she wasn’t perfect, but I thought she was awfully close.
I released my legs from the confines of my T-shirt and leaned to the side to hug my mom. “I’m so glad it was just the baby, and not you.”
She pulled away, blotting her red eyes and nodding. “Me too.”
“I wanted to tell you. And I’m so mad at Ben for doing it first.”
“I think this baby saved him, Gabby. I think he felt lost without a purpose, and now he has one. And I hate saying that because I don’t know what that means for you. The last thing I want is for you to feel thrust into motherhood when you’re not ready.”
I grunted a laugh and rested my hand on my belly. “I’m not ready, but I want this. I’m scared, but I want this. I hate Ben for a hundred different reasons, but I love him.”
Mom smiled. “Ben’s willing to support you, no matter what. And your dad and I want to support you, no matter what.”
“Dad?” I asked with skepticism. “He’s not livid that I’m pregnant at nineteen, out of wedlock?”
Mom rolled her eyes. “Well, he’s not elated.”
“When Sarah and Eve disappointed him, he was ready to kick them out and disown them,” I said.
“Oh,” she laughed. “He’s ready to disown you, young lady. But he wants what’s best for your innocent child. So you can stay in school or come home. Either way, we’ll do our best to support you.”
I dropped my head and murmured, “I don’t know what I want. Not anymore. I’m still in a state of shock that it’s Ben.”
“What do you mean?”
I stood and stepped toward my desk, staring at the picture of Ben and me, arm in arm at our high school graduation. Could I tell her about Matt? I financially strapped myself to thousands of dollars in debt to be at the University of Michigan just for Matthew Cory, but my infatuation (coveting) felt like a greater sin than getting pregnant. If I stuck it out and finished school, then it wouldn’t all be for nothing.