Total pages in book: 54
Estimated words: 49814 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 249(@200wpm)___ 199(@250wpm)___ 166(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 49814 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 249(@200wpm)___ 199(@250wpm)___ 166(@300wpm)
"You know what it's like growing up around here?" Haven asks softly. "I mean, my cousins and siblings aside, people always treated us like we were cattle on the block or something. Like, as soon as they found out who we were, you could see the wheels start turning. Most of us never really dated because it was never about us. It was about our family or the vineyard. People never wanted to date Haven or Bastian or Jax or Liam; they wanted to date a Goodson or a Grayson. We were interchangeable to them, and I mean that literally. They didn't care which of us they dated, just so long as they got to say they were dating one of us. Miriam dated a boy in high school. As soon as she broke up with him, he tried to date Mika, her own twin. When Mika told him to get lost, he tried to get with Hermione."
"What a dick."
"It happened a lot," she mutters. "Girls at school would concoct entire schemes to try to get with one of my cousins and then throw fits when they never took the bait. It's why most of us still don't date. So I'm not surprised Bastian was a virgin. And I'm not surprised he picked you. You actually see us as people. You know how good that feels after a lifetime of being treated like a prize to be won or a potential payday?"
I see the longing in her gaze, and fall silent, not sure how to respond. Her life is not like mine, for sure. I can't even imagine being treated like a prize to be won because my family is wildly successful. In fact, it was always the opposite for me. We never went without, but we never had extra, either. And I was someone to avoid because of my brother. He was so overprotective that I didn't even have my first kiss until college. And the two that followed it weren't any better than that one.
But when Bastian kissed me, there were fireworks. There was a heavenly choir. So yeah, I'm freaking out. How can I not?
I do not want to fuck this up, but most days, I want to strangle the man. Most days, he wants to spank me into submission. He's my boss. If ever there was the potential for disaster and devastation, this is it. But a big part of me—a terrifyingly large part—wants to risk it anyway.
And I'm not entirely sure where he stands. Obviously, he's serious enough to sleep with me after holding that part of himself in reserve all his life. But…that doesn't mean he loves me. I'm not even convinced it means he likes me. Does he or am I just something he wants to conquer?
Bastian doesn’t break the rules. And I guess maybe that made me feel safe, like I could feel how I do without rocking the boat or risking anything because he’d never go for it. Now, he has.
My safe place is all out of order, and I don’t know what to think. I need rules, and order, and boundaries to put it back together again before I end up losing more than I can afford.
Like him.
"Relationships are so complicated," I groan.
"Yep." Haven grins at me, climbing to her feet. "But at least there's sex. That's probably worth the trade-off."
"Probably?" I quirk a brow at her.
"Maybe Bastian isn't the only one waiting for someone worth it," she mumbles, a blush climbing up her cheeks.
"You'll find him," I say, reaching across my desk to squeeze her hand.
She shoots me a grateful smile and then laughs softly. "Well, if he's out there, he needs to hurry. Watching everyone else fall in love is no fun, especially when you guys are having sex all over the property. See you at lunch?"
I jerk my chin in a nod, watching as she slips through the door into the hallway, and then I glance down at my desk, sighing. Is that what's happening here? I'm falling for Bastian?
Oh, who am I kidding? I think I was falling for him months ago. And that's what has me freaking out. I can't afford to fall any deeper, not when I don't even know what his endgame is here.
He feels like home to me. If I’m just fun to him, it’s going to destroy everything.
My phone pings with an incoming message.
Apparently, the devil really does know when you're thinking about him. The message is a video from Bastian of Trystan drumming on the steering wheel, singing Sweet Child of Mine at the top of his lungs. He doesn't sound terrible. I mean, he doesn't sound great, but I've heard worse. Mostly when I'm in the shower, freestyling lyrics because I can't remember the real ones to save my life. But I'll die before I admit that out loud.