Total pages in book: 76
Estimated words: 73012 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 365(@200wpm)___ 292(@250wpm)___ 243(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 73012 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 365(@200wpm)___ 292(@250wpm)___ 243(@300wpm)
I pull back from the kiss. “Let’s go.”
We stand, and I take Kason’s hand, leading him to my room. Guys don’t usually spend the night, and I don’t usually spend the night with them either, but this is a dating thing, I guess. My experience is so limited. Even when it came to Malcolm, I thought the man was my boyfriend, but he often had excuses why he couldn’t stay over. Sometimes I wonder if he was like that with Donovan and Hayes too, or if it was just me. He did tell me I was his least favorite and—I shake my head. No. Fuck that. I’m not giving him space here with us tonight.
I don’t believe this will last, though. Regardless, I want to pretend we’ll have this thing I didn’t think I wanted—and honestly, I’m still not sure I do—but that Kason makes me second-guess. A relationship.
“I like your room,” he says when we get inside.
My king-size bed is messy, sage-green blankets balled up with the sheet. I should have made it this morning, but… “I’m a bit messy. At least in here.”
“I don’t care about that.” He wraps his arms around me from behind, his soft cock nestled against my ass. “Looks comfy.” He kisses the side of my neck.
I miss his touch instantly when he lets go.
“This is nice.” He walks over to the corner of my room where I have yoga mats, tables with incense, crystals, and a shelf with my singing bowls. “Do you play these? I’ve never tried. I love a good sound bath, though.” He stands there naked, his body so gorgeous and tight, his pert little ass distracting me as he traces the edge of one of my bowls.
“I do.”
“You’ll have to play for me sometime.”
“Yeah?” That’s another first. I’ve never played for anyone before.
“Yes. Of course.” Then, completely comfortable in his skin, in my room, in his life, Kason takes a dive onto my bed.
I laugh. “You’re like a big kid.”
“I think you have me mixed up with my right defenseman. Now my feelings are hurt.” He pokes out his bottom lip.
“There you go, trying to get compliments out of me again.” I turn on the bedside lamp before turning off the one overhead.
Unlike Kason, I get into bed without the divebomb. His body immediately wraps around me.
“Sorry about the loss tonight.”
“Yeah, me too, but they happen. We leave tomorrow for a road trip, and I’ll redeem myself. We should plan something fun for when I come back.”
It’s so wild to me that he seems to want to spend so much time with me. The strange thing is, it doesn’t surprise me that Rylan wants to spend his free time with Hayes or that Eric always wants to be with Donovan. Not that Kason and I are anything close to what those guys are. We’re not a real couple, and we’re not in love. But evidently, my brain is wired to understand good things for others but not myself. I don’t know how to change that or if it’s even possible. “Sure. I mean, I assume that’s part of dating.”
He grins, and I can’t help noticing how easy it is to make Kason happy, or at least to make him smile.
He pulls me closer, our bodies basically glued together. “Tell me about when you realized you love dance.”
It’s my turn to smile. “There wasn’t a specific time. I feel like I always knew. My mom…she was young when she had me. Like I said, her family disowned her even before that. She struggled to make ends meet and with addiction. But when she was doing well, I remember her telling me that from the moment I learned to walk, I was dancing. We didn’t have money for lessons, but I found a way to learn. Dancing was my constant when nothing else in my life was.”
He leans in, rubs his cheek against mine, buries his nose in my hair. Kason is good at making you feel like you’re the only person in the world, like he really cares about what you say. Maybe that’s why the words fall out so easily with him, when I can’t make myself share with anyone else.
“I’m sorry you didn’t always have what you needed, but I’m glad you had dance. Your mom…?”
The feelings of not being good enough, of being the person no one cares about enough to stick around, build up inside me. “I don’t want to talk about that. Is that okay?”
“Of course.” He runs his fingers through my hair, peppering kisses along my temple. “Tell me more about dancing. Were you able to perform when you were younger? You said you were shy.”
“In my teens, I lived with my aunt and uncle. It wasn’t going well for me. I didn’t know how to connect with them or even with the kids at school. I used to sneak into an empty room during lunch to dance. Aliyah found me. She was the dance instructor, and she was great. She did everything she could to help me, to get me on the team and keep me there. I don’t know what I would have done without her.”