Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 92067 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 460(@200wpm)___ 368(@250wpm)___ 307(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92067 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 460(@200wpm)___ 368(@250wpm)___ 307(@300wpm)
“Your dad can’t help with some of that?”
She lets out a bitter sounding snort—that can’t be described as laugher at all. “My father can only deal with his anger, King. He’s doing what he usually does, giving Mom his love, but he’s filled with his own anger and thoughts of vengeance that haven’t ended just because they ended the men who killed my brother. He wants to find a way to bring the guy back and kill him all over again.”
“That’s an emotion that I kind of understand, darlin’.”
“Yeah, except while doing it, you’d see to your family as well.”
“Gabby—”
“You definitely wouldn’t ignore your child for months because you blamed her. Would you, King?” she asks, looking up at me with tears in her eyes—tears that rip open my heart. I kiss them away, tasting the salty remnants of her anguish, wishing I could absorb it all into my body.
“None of what happened was your fault, Gabby. None of it.”
“It’s not even about that,” she whispers, her voice trembling so much she has to stop mid-sentence to take a breath.
“What’s it about?” I probe.
“Mom wants me to come home.”
“I can take you there to visit, sweetheart. We can go after our jellybean is born.”
She closes her eyes. “They don’t know I’m pregnant.”
My body almost turns into stone. I don’t move. Everything feels so intense and heavy, I’m not sure I could. “You haven’t told them? You could have the baby at any time. How do they not know?”
“That’s easy. Dad doesn’t want to look at me—”
“Gabby …”
“No, that’s even wrong. He doesn’t want anything to do with me because he hasn’t spoken to me in over six months, either. Every single call Mom asks if I want to talk to my father, and then explains that she’ll go get him if I do. Then she’ll come up with some half-hearted excuse on how he left to give us privacy. It’s all a lie, though. The truth is he doesn’t want to look at me, he doesn’t want to hear my voice, and he wishes I was dead and Diego was still alive.”
“Fuck, sweetheart—”
“What he doesn’t understand is I wish that, too, King.”
“No,” I growl, the burn of that hitting me so fucking deep that it takes my breath. Before I can say anything else, she shakes her head. It moves back and forth so furiously it must be painful. Her hands curl into my tee as her body trembles.
“Straight up. I’d trade my life for Diego’s in a heartbeat if he could be back here with his smile, that cocky voice of his, and the way he loved to chase everything in a skirt. I wouldn’t even blink. Hell, I’ve prayed for the chance, King. There’s nothing I can do.”
“Baby, stop,” I croon, holding her tighter.
“I would give anything to take his place,” she whispers. “There’s nothing I can do,” she finally repeats.
I brace my hands on each side of her neck. I force her beautiful smoky blue eyes to look at me. I hate the tears sliding from them, even acknowledging how beautiful and real that is to see. There were times that being with Shelby made me feel like I was frozen out by her. The woman compartmentalized all of her emotions to the tiniest sliver of one. Hell, sometimes having sex that she seemed completely distanced during it. Looking back now, all those red warning flags mock the shit out of me. I’m lucky I got out of that marriage before my dick froze off while fucking her.
“You need to stop. Your brother would not want this for you. I didn’t know him, but I know that any man in the same type of life I’m in knows the danger he’s courting. He knows what could happen and honestly, baby, that’s part of what feeds his hunger for this life. You live every day as your last. You do it minute by minute and you get off on that thrill. I know that’s twisted, but it’s true.”
“That’s not who you are,” she argues at once.
“It’s not now, but it was. Once you settle into the life, you find your brothers, you find your family, and you find a good woman. Then, you have a new mission. You live every day as it's your last, but you do it knowing you are protecting those you care about, a world you love and a family that you are a part of. I know this because I may have been lost for a while, but I’m coming back to myself. I’m coming back and I’m settling into a world here with men I like, people I respect, and a good woman who I fucking want to keep in my life.”
“King—”
“I know losing your brother has killed you inside, baby, but I need you to hear me.”