Total pages in book: 82
Estimated words: 81584 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 408(@200wpm)___ 326(@250wpm)___ 272(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81584 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 408(@200wpm)___ 326(@250wpm)___ 272(@300wpm)
My stomach was in knots as I drove home. It wasn’t like me and Gray were even seeing each other. We were friends, and he’d helped me out when I was in a tight spot. He’d made it pretty clear in all of our interactions that a hookup wouldn’t be repeated. My guts twisted.
Not that I’d want a repeat if he had a girlfriend—and if that woman wasn’t his girlfriend, then I didn’t know what their relationship was about because they were clearly very comfortable with each other, and it was not platonic.
It wasn’t any of my business. I hadn’t heard from him, and that was fine. We were cool. Everything was totally cool. There wasn’t any reason for my feelings to be hurt or for it to feel like I’d just been socked in the stomach. It wasn’t rational that seeing him with someone bothered me.
I puzzled over it as I drove.
I knew I could only control my emotions to a certain degree. That was life. Sometimes you were hurt by something that seemed inconsequential. Sometimes you were angry about something that was too small to worry about. Sometimes the tiniest thing made you giddy with joy. It was just part of being alive. What I didn’t like was not being able to pinpoint where the feeling was coming from.
I knew Gray saw other people. Of course he did. He was an adult male. Besides that, I saw other people, or I had before the whole Scott debacle. It shouldn’t have mattered that I’d seen Gray with the blonde woman.
It wasn’t until I’d parked that I realized why I was so bothered, and when it hit me, I smacked my forehead against the steering wheel in frustration.
I’d ridiculously thought that grin was mine. I’d only seen it when we were alone together. He didn’t smile like that when we were in a group. He rarely smiled at all, but never like that.
Stupid. I was so stupid.
I’d hoarded that grin. Daydreamed about it. Imagined that it meant something, like a little secret between us. How delusional could I get, for fuck’s sake?
That was his I’m getting some smile. Every woman he’d ever been with had gotten that same smile.
“Stop smacking your face,” a voice called from outside my window.
“I wasn’t smacking my face,” I argued, swinging my door open. “I was lamenting how dumb I am.”
“Not true,” Myla said, reaching in the back seat to grab the grocery bags. “But what did you do?”
“Thought something meant more than it does,” I grumbled, grabbing my coffee mug and bag from work.
“What?” She closed the back door with her hip.
“Not worth explaining,” I said, locking the doors. “Do you know who’s coming tonight?”
“Just us, and Brody I think.”
“No Bas?” That was surprising.
“I think he had something else going on.”
“And he didn’t cancel when Lou decided out of nowhere that she needed a barbecue?”
“Shocking, right?” Myla said over her shoulder as we let ourselves inside.
“Louise, I’m home,” I called out. “Where are my slippers and scotch?”
“In here, dear,” she called back from the kitchen.
“Where’s Cian?” I asked as we rounded the corner.
“He’ll be here. He was working late today to get something finished.”
“Loser,” I joked. I found Lou sitting on the floor surrounded by a massive mess. “What the hell happened?”
“These directions suck,” she bitched. “I should’ve just asked for the floor model.”
“I thought Bas was going to help you build it.” I knelt down and took the instruction manual from her.
“He canceled.”
“What an asshole,” I said flatly, making her smile.
“Do you know what he had to do tonight?” Myla asked as she started unpacking groceries above us.
“He didn’t say.” Lou pushed herself up, stepping gingerly around the metal pieces and wrapping. “But I figured it must be important since he canceled last minute.”
The two of them puttered around the kitchen getting stuff ready while I built Lou’s barbecue for her. I wasn’t sure why she’d had such a hard time with it since it only took me about twenty minutes to fully assemble it. I’d always loved puzzles. It was probably part of the reason I liked refinishing things. You had to take them all apart and then put them back together again. It was satisfying.
“Done,” I announced. “Where’s the propane tank?”
“The what?” she asked in confusion.
“The tank.” I gestured at the bottom of the barbecue. “It needs propane to work.”
“Oh, shit,” Lou said with a laugh, covering her mouth with her hand. “Whoops.”
Myla cackled.
I snorted.
Then we were all laughing at the unusable barbecue sitting in the center of our kitchen.
“Well, it’s pretty,” Myla said, wheezing.
“Shiny,” Lou agreed.
We laughed harder. Brody found us draped over the counters, Lou with her arms wrapped as far as she could get them around her new lawn ornament.
“Nice,” he said, smiling as he walked into the kitchen. “Any reason Lou’s huggin’ a barbecue?”