Total pages in book: 96
Estimated words: 94300 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 472(@200wpm)___ 377(@250wpm)___ 314(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 94300 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 472(@200wpm)___ 377(@250wpm)___ 314(@300wpm)
Lennon doesn’t make eye contact again, and I know this because I don’t take my eyes off him until the flight is called.
Being in first class, I board early, and then I sit and watch every person get on the plane, because I need Lennon to acknowledge me as he walks by. A smile … something.
When he appears, something warms my gut, and a sense of desperation takes root, but all that’s squashed when he walks by without even looking at me.
All I want to fucking do is talk to him, Damon and the media be damned.
I get the sinking feeling this is more than Lennon feeling guilty over possibly, maybe, ruining my career.
If my private life is going to be splashed all over the media, I want to at least have something to look forward to. But maybe he doesn’t want that life. He said his family are private people and want him to hide who he is. Maybe some of that has rubbed off on him. If it were up to me, I wouldn’t want the media breathing down my neck either, but that’s the career I chose. Lennon didn’t choose to be on this side of it.
The entire flight to New York, I keep overthinking everything. From what the media knows to what Lennon’s thinking and everything in between.
And when we land at JFK and find Damon waiting for us, I know for certain all my overanalyzing was for nothing because whatever’s going to happen has already begun.
Damon greets us with a grim smile. “Ava’s getting a hold of the GM and coach, and we’re meeting them all at the arena.”
Yup. There’s no stopping this.
I will not vomit. I will not vomit … Okay, I’m probably gonna vomit.
Chapter Twenty-Four
LENNON
I’ve been trying to remain calm this whole time, but I’m about to freak the fuck out.
This is too much. Too much pressure, too fast, too … everything.
Ollie needs to not take me into account. If he makes his statement today and then we don’t work out, how much resentment will he hold toward me?
Ollie didn’t take this step with Ash for a reason, and after a few months of back and forth between us, and two days after we hook up, he’s being forced to face the media.
Two days.
It’s like the universe really does want to cockblock us, because this can’t end well. He comes out, he’ll resent me for putting him in this position. He stays closeted, we’ll be constantly paranoid about being found out.
My head is screaming at me to leave. Get out now before I make the same pathetic mistakes adolescent Lennon made, but I’m too far gone for him to let go.
When we arrive at the arena and head through the back corridors to the pressroom, Damon heads inside, but Ollie pulls me back.
“Are we cool?” he asks.
We haven’t spoken since before we left Boston, because I basically don’t know what to say to him. Everything is on the line. For both him and me, but right now I’m only focused on what it could mean for Ollie.
I finally find my voice. “Don’t do this for me.”
“What?”
“If you get a chance to squash the rumors in there, take it.”
Ollie lets out a loud breath. “I’m so fucking confused. I had one guy who pushed me to do this, and now another who doesn’t want me to do it.”
“I want you to do it for you.”
“A bit late for that now, isn’t it?” The bite in Ollie’s voice makes me step back.
“I can’t handle being the one who got you outed when you’ve been able to keep it a secret for six fucking years. I don’t want to be responsible for ruining your future.”
Ollie looks confused. “That’s your issue? This is in no way your fault.”
“You say that now, but—”
His arms go to my shoulders, and he steps closer. “I will never see it that way.”
It’s hard to believe that when he’s caught up in this moment where he has no choice in the matter.
“This isn’t the way I wanted this to happen, but now that it is, we can only look forward, and when I see my future, I see you.”
My breath catches in my throat. “How? We both live out of suitcases, our schedules are nuts, we don’t have anything in common except for our love of sports even though hockey still leaves something to be desired—”
Ollie kisses me and kisses me hard. My back pushes against the brick wall of the cold corridor, and when his tongue pushes into my mouth, I moan.
When he finally lets me up for air, he whispers against my lips, “That’s how.”
I stare up into his eyes, unable to find the ability to fight his flawed logic.
His giant hands cup my face. “We’ll take this one step at a time. I know there’s shit we both have to work out in terms of our careers, but you’re the only person who’s ever understood me, and it’s not you who’s pushing me over this line. It’s the media. I want this. Us.”