Total pages in book: 85
Estimated words: 81333 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 407(@200wpm)___ 325(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81333 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 407(@200wpm)___ 325(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
What’s most bothersome about the whole thing is it’s just as much the non-sexual moments that resurface as the sexy ones. If it was just the fucking that I couldn’t forget, I could just grab a vibrator and get rid of that urge. But it’s not.
I find myself thinking just as much about the joy in his face when he was playing catch with the kids at the fair. The levity in his laugh when he beat me at Skee Ball. The way his fingers pressed against the small of my back as we walked along the beach and the feel of his breath against my cheek when he told me I was beautiful under the moon.
It’s those things that I fight to ignore, those little moments that make me wonder “what if?” It’s Callum and his texts over the last three weeks since I’ve been home that remind me of what the other side of ‘what if’ looks like. The headlines Branch has been making help that vision be a little clearer too.
Seeing him with Selma Puress was a little harder than I thought. I’ve analyzed that image more times than I should’ve and ended up more confused than anything.
Is that smile real? It doesn’t quite seem to be, yet his hand rests against her skinny waist like she’s more than an old friend.
Rolling my desk chair back, I stand and stretch. The knot that started at the base of my neck has expanded down the middle of my back. It’s a contributing factor to my extreme efficiency since I can’t sleep. It hurts too bad.
The traffic below my apartment on Gilmore Avenue is bustling in the early afternoon. It usually doesn’t get too bad until the lunch rush, but the horns from frustrated motorists drift up the twenty-six stories to my ears.
The colorful paintings bring splashes of life to the whitewashed walls that were here when I moved in a few months ago. I envision the living room a dove grey but haven’t had time to do it, and I’ve always wanted a strawberry red wall in my kitchen but Callum thought it was ridiculous.
“Hey,” Poppy’s voice sings from the doorway, dangling a key in her hand. “You’re going to be sorry you gave me this.”
“Just be glad you aren’t ten minutes later or I’d be naked.”
“Hey, if I swung that way . . .”
“Shut up,” I laugh, carrying my coffee cup to the sink. “What are you doing?”
“Not much. On lunch break now but I’m thinking of calling off the rest of the afternoon.”
“Why?”
“Because . . .” she says, snarling. “It’s work. There’s nothing to do there. I mean, there’s stuff to do,” she corrects, “but nothing I want to do. What are you doing today?”
Yawning, I lean against the cabinets. “I’ve worked all morning. I’m so far ahead I don’t even know who I am anymore.”
“Wanna get some lunch?”
“If we can go get a hot ham and cheese from Yusi’s.”
“Random.”
“I saw a commercial for them last night and I need a hot ham and cheese. Need, Poppy. I can’t stop thinking about it.”
She presses her lips together. “What else have you been thinking about?”
“No,” I sigh. “Branch hasn’t called. He won’t, and despite what you think, I don’t want him to.”
“I’m calling bullshit.”
“He’s on Exposé again this morning,” I tell her, using the headline to make my point. “With Finn. Did you see it?”
“Yeah, I saw it. Finn told me he was going, so I’m not worried about it. We aren’t exclusive, anyway.”
“I think my brother could be exclusive. Branch? Not so much. And that’s exactly why I don’t want him to call. I can’t deal with this. I can barely deal with it and it’s not even my problem. The only thing I need right now is a ham and cheese sandwich.”
“I’m not taking you anywhere looking like that.”
Heading down the hall, I enter my bedroom. I leave the door open so I can talk to my friend. “What’d you do this week? Anything fun?”
“Oh, I’ve had fun this week, but not the kind you wanna know about.”
“Are you still messing with my brother?”
“Putting it lightly.”
Throwing on a pair of black yoga pants and a white and black striped top, I look in the mirror. The top is wrinkled and makes my frame look wide, so I jerk it off and replace it with a pretty teal-colored t-shirt. My hair in a bun, flats on my feet, I’m back in the living room as Poppy’s wraps up the PG-version of her latest tryst with Finn.
“You didn’t hear any of that, did you?” she laughs as I grab my purse.
“I tried not to.”
She squares her shoulders to me, her purple-y lipstick shining as she presses her lips together. “Branch asked me about you a couple of days ago.”