Total pages in book: 74
Estimated words: 71396 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 357(@200wpm)___ 286(@250wpm)___ 238(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71396 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 357(@200wpm)___ 286(@250wpm)___ 238(@300wpm)
“Except Lance will be hurt,” I say quietly.
She pauses before saying, “This is where I’m going to step out of mum role where I should be philosophical about these things, and simply say, I’m not sorry that Lance will be hurt. He made a choice and now these are the consequences. I know that sounds harsh, but I want you to remember that. You didn’t cause him to cheat on you, and you didn’t force him to hit you. That’s all on him and now he’s reaping what he sowed.”
That’s strong coming from my mum, a woman who is about love and forgiveness. It puts things into a better perspective.
I take in a deep breath, decision made. “I know what I need to do.”
“Then do it,” she says, and I can hear the approval in her tone. “So you can get on with your life.”
I sigh heavily, even though she’s exactly right. “I know I need to. But gah… this is so hard.”
“Because you loved him,” she says. “And you’ve been friends forever. And just because he made some horrible mistakes, you have a loving and forgiving heart.”
I heave out another heavy breath, pondering when I should make the move. “Maybe I should wait until we can meet face-to-face. Maybe in Torquay in a few weeks?”
“Lara,” my mom says, her tone with a bit of bite. “Don’t delay this anymore. No one can move on until you do this. And it’s not just about Lance needing to move on. No one can, especially his parents, who are navigating very murky waters.”
Guilt nearly swallows me whole as I think of Graham and Leanne. They’re truly stuck in limbo between loyalty to their son and love of me through our longstanding family relationships. That fact hits me square in the chest, and I am suddenly and unabashedly assured that I have to do this without wasting another second.
“I’m going to call him right now, Mum.”
She gasps in surprise. “Really?”
“Really,” I assure her, pulling on every bit of strength I have. “I’ll touch base with you tomorrow as we’re catching a flight to Zurich tonight.”
“My little jet-setter,” she coos. “Okay… good luck, honey. I love you and I’m proud of you.”
Those words echo through me as I hang up. I tap my phone on my thigh as I try to pull my thoughts together. I need to be firm. Keep it short but clear. I need to be ready for him to resist and I need to stay true to myself.
My mom is proud of me. She loves me. I’m with Reid. There’s no reason to put this off.
“Let’s do this,” I murmur, pulling up Lance’s name and tapping the call button.
He answers almost instantly. “Lara?”
“Hi,” I say, my voice tight with tension.
“I wasn’t sure you’d actually call.” He sounds relieved. “Thank you.”
“I read your text,” I say. “I appreciate the apology.”
“I meant every word,” he rushes out. “I was blind. Selfish. Angry. I’ve been talking to someone—about getting into an anger management program. I’ll do anything, Lara. I want to fix this.”
“There’s nothing to fix, Lance.”
“Of course there’s something to fix,” he says dismissively.
My anger swells and I tamp it down. “No, there’s not. It’s already done and I’m not going backward. I can’t look past cheating and physical violence.” He hisses in a breath, and I imagine I hear shame in it, but probably not. “I moved my stuff out of the apartment. I left the ring there.”
He goes quiet, and ordinarily, this is when his anger would explode. I brace for an outburst but it doesn’t come. I don’t even know if he’s still listening, but my goal is to be clear. “I’m sorry, but we’re over.”
“I don’t understand. We were engaged.” His voice sounds small and without conviction. As if he doubts we were ever contemplating marriage.
“I know. And I loved you. But…” I suck in a stuttering breath. “But you killed that.”
“I’m sorry I hit you. I promise I won’t—”
“It’s not just the fact you hit me,” I cut in over him. “You cheated. You’re controlling. My desire to be with you started dying a slow death awhile back and I didn’t have the guts to do anything about it. When you hit me, that was merely a catalyst to end things, but I’ve wanted to do that for a while.”
“You don’t mean that,” he murmurs.
My heart wrenches because I can hear the pain. “I’m sorry, but I do.”
He sounds so dejected. “Then… can I please see you? Just once. I’ll be in Torquay in a few days. Let me sit down with you. If you still feel this way after, fine. But give me one more conversation. One real one.”
I close my eyes, hating that I’m hurting him. It doesn’t matter how bad he hurt me, I am sensitive that he’s suffering a real loss right now. But I want to keep this boundary clean.