Total pages in book: 163
Estimated words: 150878 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 754(@200wpm)___ 604(@250wpm)___ 503(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 150878 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 754(@200wpm)___ 604(@250wpm)___ 503(@300wpm)
“Pay what forward?” I sat up so quickly I gave myself a head rush, bringing my hand to my temple and cringe-laughing.
“Nothing,” I said. “All secured?”
Tuck set his backpack down on the floor next to the chair. “Yeah.” He closed the bedroom door and locked it, and that small click made my tummy squeeze. “All secured.”
We stared at each other in heavy silence for a few seconds before I waved toward the bathroom. “There’s water in there,” I said. “In the tub. If you wanted to…clean up or—”
“Great. Yes. That’d be great.” He picked his bag back up and went into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.
I lay back on the bed, trying to calm my nerves as I again gazed at the ceiling. God, my heart was thumping with both excitement and fear. I vaguely wondered if this is how it would have been if Tuck and I had dated in high school. If the cascade of tragedies that had occurred in the wake of his mother getting sick hadn’t happened…if his mother had never died… Would we have snuck out windows at midnight? Would we have made out in the back seat of cars? Gone to that prom together and then rented a hotel room afterward and lost our virginity to each other?
It seemed like such a faraway possibility, and also one that should have happened but had been lost, caused by some wrinkle in time. And I felt this sense of wonder knowing maybe those disruptive wrinkles eventually smoothed, and when they did, what was lost, was found.
The door clicked open, and Tuck exited, dropping his backpack on the floor. His gaze slid over me, lingering on the pink cotton between my legs, barely showing beneath the hem of the T-shirt that had risen when I’d lain down. And I swore I could feel that glance touch my tender flesh, a buzz of electricity flowing from him to me. His eyes moved down my legs, and I saw him swallow. “Em,” he said, his voice thick. “I, ah.” He stuck his hands in his jean pockets, and I sat up, concerned by the doubt I heard in his tone.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong. I just…you should know that it’s been ah—”
“It’s been a long time.” My breath released, tenderness gripping my heart. He was worried because he hadn’t had sex with anyone in a long time.
I stood, going to him and then placed my hand on his chest. “I understand.”
He shook his head slowly, his expression so vulnerable. “No, Em, I’m not sure you do.”
I lifted my hand and then ran my thumb over his flushed cheekbone before I brought my mouth to his, kissing him softly, just once, and then lowering my lips to his throat. “Yes, I do,” I whispered. I trailed my hand down his T-shirt and then lifted the hem and dragged my fingers lightly over the warm skin of his stomach. His skin was velvety, and the sparse line of hair tickled my fingertips. I smiled against the dip at the base of his throat, and he let out a low groan.
My heart soared, and I felt electrified, and I knew that he was telling me that he was worried about things being over before they started, but honestly, I felt desperate too. To discover him, to explore, to satisfy a desire that it felt as if I’d carried all my life, beginning from those first flushed moments staring at his features in a photograph in my girlhood room.
I took a tiny step back and lifted his T-shirt, bringing it up and over his head. I took a moment, just one, to let my eyes roam his smooth, muscular chest and then brought my hand out and laid it over his heart. I’d known his body once, every dip and swell, because I’d memorized him. I’d watched as he picked fruit, and lifted bales of hay, and waded in the creek running through our land. But he’d become a man since then, and I had so much to rediscover. I felt greedy and hungry and breathless with need, overwhelmed by the weight of this moment.
He groaned when I lowered my mouth to one of his flat nipples, weaving his fingers into my hair. “Even this, Em, I… God.”
“I know,” I whispered, and then I went down on my knees.
He let out a small sound that made me smile. It was surprise and gratitude and uncertainty and desperation all mixed into one. And it was the first time I’d ever seen Tucker Mattice willingly hand over full control to anyone.
I unbuttoned his jeans and dragged them down over his straining erection, swallowing as I reminded myself that I would have time to explore him later. This was for him, and it meant that we could take our time after this.