Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 101662 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 508(@200wpm)___ 407(@250wpm)___ 339(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 101662 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 508(@200wpm)___ 407(@250wpm)___ 339(@300wpm)
“Gabriel?” she asked, turning back toward me.
“Yes?”
“Sorry, there’s something important that I need to get off my chest. It’s been bothering me for a while. I’ve been thinking about it for hours tonight, ever since you’ve brought it up, and if I don’t say it, I’ll explode.”
Nerves built up within me at an alarming speed. “What is it?”
She bit her bottom lip and sighed. “I think it’s really, really creepy how you don’t like grilled-cheese sandwiches. It’s toasted bread with melty cheese. What’s not to like?”
I laughed. “Add it to my list of flaws.”
A slight smile touched her lips. “It’s a very short list.”
“I’m sure you’ll find more things to add to it over time.”
“Not too sure about that. Good night.”
“Good night, Penguin.”
Her whole body froze. “What did you just call me?”
What did I just call her?
Penguin?
Where did that come from? What did that even mean?
Fuck, I didn’t know why I said that. My eyes narrowed in confusion. “Sorry, I meant good night, Kierra. I don’t know where that came from. I’m sorry, my brain’s fried.”
She gave me a small grin and nodded as she climbed out of my car. “Good night.”
Her hand stayed on the car door, and she cleared her throat and said my name once more.
“Yeah?” I asked.
Her brown eyes fluttered open and closed as she murmured six words that would keep me up for the remainder of the short night. “I’ve had dreams about you, too.”
12
Kierra
Good night, Penguin.
It was two thirty in the morning when Gabriel took me home. We’d sat under his porch lights sketching for hours. We talked a little but drew more. The only reason I’d left was because my eyes grew heavy and I knew I’d hate to deal with explaining to Henry why I was out all evening.
Yet to my surprise, when Gabriel dropped me off, Henry’s car was not in the driveway. As I headed to bed, I realized I was still wearing Gabriel’s sweatshirt that smelled like him. As I pulled it off, I held it close to my chest and breathed in deeply. If I had it my way, I would’ve stayed at Gabriel’s house. If I had it my way, I would’ve never left him all those years before.
I stayed wide awake for a while, thinking about my time with Gabriel and how he’d called me Penguin.
He was remembering.
Maybe not fully, and maybe not clearly, but he was recalling pieces of us slowly but surely.
I couldn’t help but wonder if that was a good or bad thing. Every day that passed, I found myself resenting Amma more. She needed to tell Gabriel about Elijah. He deserved to know, and the more time I spent around him, the more I felt like I was betraying him, too, by withholding that information. When I saw Amma again, I’d push for her to tell him.
Each day I fought demons in my mind, feeling heavy levels of guilt for the secrets that were being kept from the kindest man I’ve ever met. Gabriel deserved to know. He deserved to grieve.
I wavered back and forth about the idea of telling him everything. Even the parts that would make him hate me. Because Elijah deserved it. He deserved to be known by the brother who loved him the deepest. But then the other side of guilt filled me up, knowing that Amma ordered me to stay quiet because I was the cause of it all…
I was the one who took her son away from her. I was the reason Gabriel no longer had a brother. If it were Ava who had been lost, I didn’t know how I’d react. Death changed individuals into versions of themselves that weren’t even recognizable. Grief shifted a person’s soul in a million different directions. Who was I to tell a mother how she was supposed to heal from the hardest heartbreak of her life? Who was I to determine her timeline?
But this was Elijah, and Gabriel loved that little boy so very much…
Gosh, he deserved to know.
I knew it wasn’t my story to tell, yet if Amma didn’t step up and do what was right, I would be left with little choice but to speak up on Elijah’s behalf.
Because a boy like him deserved to be remembered.
Even if that meant Gabriel would never speak to me again.
***
When I woke in the morning, Henry’s side of the bed was messy, but he wasn’t there. I heard a commotion in the kitchen and pulled myself out of bed. He must’ve come and gone quite quickly, only resting a few hours.
When I reached the kitchen, I found Henry sitting at the counter with Ava. Lena was scrambling up breakfast at the stovetop.
I raised an eyebrow, walked over to Ava, and kissed her forehead. “Morning, Sunshine. I thought you were staying at your grandmother’s until this afternoon.”