Total pages in book: 51
Estimated words: 45957 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 230(@200wpm)___ 184(@250wpm)___ 153(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 45957 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 230(@200wpm)___ 184(@250wpm)___ 153(@300wpm)
“I don’t work behind a desk because I like it, Ivan. I work behind a desk because I need to. I can’t be eyeballs deep in field work because of my diagnosis.” When I didn’t react, he narrowed his eyes at me and took another step forward, our toes touching now. With every heavy breath, his chest brushed mine. “But you already know about my diagnosis, don’t you? You’re not surprised.”
“I do,” I confirmed.
He looked like he wanted to punch me. For a split second, I wanted him to just so I could overpower him and force him to come to heel.
“Yet you dragged me out here anyway. You constantly test my limits. Constantly push me to break. Why?” he asked, snarling the question.
“Because you’re mine,” I bluntly told him. “You think I don’t know how to handle you, kotik?” His nostrils flared at the pet name I’d given him. “I’m a diagnosed psychopath, Adrian. Who better to control you and teach you how to harness the gift you’ve been given than me?”
“You think this is a fucking gift?” he growled.
“It is,” I assured him, nodding once. “You don’t think so now because you’re scared of that part of yourself. That darker part that makes you rage uncontrollably. You’re scared of the part of you that craves violence.” My hand snapped up and wrapped around his throat before he was even aware of what was happening. He swallowed thickly, his Adam’s apple bobbing beneath my palm. “On your knees,” I growled.
“Fuck you,” he seethed.
I leaned in so close to him, our breaths mingled. “Get. On. Your. Fucking. Knees,” I ordered, letting my mask fall away. My voice was cold and emotionless, and something inside him shifted at the change in me.
Silently, he lowered himself to his knees, tilting his head back to look up at me. I leaned over him, brushing my thumb over his plump bottom lip. “Let me be what you need, kotik,” I murmured, my voice softening for him. His eyelids fluttered at the abrupt change, and something in his eyes softened. “Let me teach you how to be you without fearing any part of yourself. Let me give you the freedom I know you crave.”
His eyes locked on mine. “What’s the price, Ivan? There’s always a price with you.”
He was right. There was. I’d told James there would be no price for my help with this problem of his, but there’d been one. I just hadn’t named it because I knew James would never agree.
The price had been Adrian. And now, Adrian was going to pay it without even realizing it. His desperation would make him pay it. I was counting on that.
“You,” I said.
He stared at me for a good minute, but I never broke our stare. I kept my hand around his throat, letting my other hand glide over the stubble on his face and over the curve of his shoulder to his thick biceps.
Finally, his shoulders drooped, and he closed his eyes, drawing in a deep breath. His head lowered submissively, and Christ, it was perfect. He was perfect.
“Okay,” he said softly. “I’m…” He shuddered like his next words were painful to utter. I waited patiently for him to continue. “I’m trusting you, Ivan. Don’t make me regret it.”
“You won’t,” I swore. “If you can trust anyone in this world, kotik, you can trust me.” I released him and stepped back, giving him space to breathe. “Call James, kotik. Let him know what we’ve found out. Then come downstairs for breakfast. You need to eat.”
With that, I turned and quietly left his room, giving him the space he needed to come to terms with what his future was going to look like now.
He’d given himself to me, and now, there would be no escaping me. I owned him. Every breath, every beat of his heart, was mine.
His home was now with me.
12
Adrian
What had I done?
I stared at the closed door, still on my knees. My heart was hammering in my chest, slamming against the bone there as it tried frantically to thrust through my chest cavity and flop onto the floor between my spread knees. My breathing was ragged, and my hands trembled.
What the fuck had I done?
I’d submitted to him. To Ivan. To the man who could shred me to pieces with one fucking look from those pretty green eyes. And I’d agreed to give him all control of me. I’d agreed to give him me.
I was so, so fucked. Royally fucked. Fucked with no lube and no stretching kind of fucked. Goddammit. But he’d looked at me with those green eyes, let that mask fall away so I could see the monster he kept hidden, and I’d just… my mind had blanked. Because when he let me see that part of him, I knew he understood me. Knew he could help me. Knew he could relate.