Total pages in book: 113
Estimated words: 106772 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 534(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 356(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 106772 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 534(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 356(@300wpm)
“She was our daughter,” the woman said through tears.
“And you’ve had seventeen years to apologize.”
I swallowed hard as I watched the back-and-forth. While I knew who she was, the word refused to form in my mind. I knew what she had done to my mom when she found out she was pregnant with me.
The woman stepped in front of me. She took my hand in hers. “I’m your grandmother.” Instantly, my eyes sought out my grandma Carmela’s, and she came forward, her hand rubbing up and down my suit jacket.
“Hello, Victoria. It’s been a long time,” Grandma said as Uncle Rocco came over and took Nova away.
The woman tried to grin, but it was lifeless. “I just want to say goodbye to my daughter and meet my grandchildren,” she said. “Certainly, we’re allowed to do that?”
Grandma looked at me and then Toni before looking at the other woman. I couldn’t bring myself to give her any other title.
“We’ll happily talk after the service.”
Grandpa came to me and guided me out of the church with Rocco, Coach Schmidt and Coach Levy, and a couple of men I didn’t know who had worked with my mom. I didn’t get to hear what Victoria and her husband said to Toni, but I imagined whatever she said in return probably wasn’t nice.
The church doors closed, and the reverend stood there while the funeral director guided us in carrying the casket forward. My mom wasn’t in there, though. She’d wanted to be cremated. Half her ashes would be buried, and she’d have a marker with her name on it. The other half would be placed in a box for us to decide what to do with. Toni said we could spread her ashes in her favorite places or have jewelry made with some of them.
The doors opened, and the reverend led everyone into the church and down the aisle. I walked behind the casket and reached for Nova’s hand as soon as I stepped into the vestibule. Everything about this service was what my mom had wanted, with some additions from me and Nova. I wanted to walk and told Nova she could sit with Toni, but she wanted to walk with me.
Once Mom was placed on the pedestal, we took our seats next to Toni. All around, pictures of my mom were on easels. Nova and I were in most of them. So was Toni. But what caught me was the picture closest to us. Mom wasn’t looking at the camera, but the sun. It cast her in an eternal glow, and I imagined this was how she’d gone to heaven.
The reverend spoke, but I wasn’t listening. My mom came to church occasionally, but she never forced me to go. Maybe I would start as a way to get closer to her.
“To give the eulogy is Miriam’s son, Cutter.”
Toni patted my shoulder and gave me a reassuring nod. I stood and took my speech out of my pocket. At the podium, I cleared my throat and began.
“To you, she was Miriam. To her best friend, she was Miri. To us, she was Mom. But mostly, to all of us, she was a friend, a neighbor, ‘Cutter or Nova’s mom,’ and rarely, ‘Ms. Vaughn,’ because she wanted my friends to feel welcome in our home.”
I cleared my throat to fight off the tightening. Crying was something I didn’t want to happen in front of these people, but it felt inevitable.
“My mom lived life with her whole heart. Her pride and joy, me and Nova, her words, not mine,” I said as everyone laughed. I sought out Toni, who smiled and nodded. “We were her reason for everything. When she wasn’t working, driving me to practice or Nova to the library, or coming to one of my games, she loved digging in her garden and sketching plans for the henhouse she planned to rebuild.
“She had a dream to one day own an old farmhouse and was able to make that dream come true five years ago. My mom loved our house and spent her free time remodeling each room. But the porch was her favorite place. If Nova and I couldn’t find her in the house, we’d find her in the rocking chair, staring off. Watching the sunset from her porch, regardless of the weather, was something she loved.”
I cleared my throat as I looked at the words of my last paragraph. “My mom was my best friend. For a while, it was just the two of us, and then Nova joined our perfect little family. We will never question whether our mom loved us because she told us every day, even on her last day. To our mom, my sister and I would like to say, ‘We love you, and every day we’ll continue to watch the sunset from the porch you loved so much, knowing that wherever you are, you’re watching it with us.’”