Total pages in book: 42
Estimated words: 38490 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 192(@200wpm)___ 154(@250wpm)___ 128(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 38490 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 192(@200wpm)___ 154(@250wpm)___ 128(@300wpm)
Since we were kids I’ve always been his hero, he didn’t have to say it for me to know. This is the first time he’s ever said those words to me. For the first time since my wife’s death I felt regret over the way I’d treated someone else. But no one touches that picture or even brings it up in conversation. Everyone who knows me knows that that shit’s off limits.
But she doesn’t know you does she jackass? And maybe I don’t want her to. Maybe I don’t want to get tangled up with her and whatever the hell this is. By midafternoon I knew I was fooling myself.
I wasn’t sure which was worst. The fact the I felt guilty about the way things had ended, or the fact that I wanted her here. The last scared me more than anything had in a long time.
I still don’t know what that strange feeling is. I know it can’t be love. I’ve been in love before and it was nothing like this. My love for Elena had been easy. We were so alike her and I. Her strength was one of the things that drew me to her.
Whereas Cassie seemed soft and vulnerable. Like she needed someone to take care of and look out for her. Had I spoken to Elena the way I had her, she would’ve ripped me up one side and down the next.
But not this girl that keeps invading my sleep. No, she turns and runs and gets herself into messes that she can’t get out of without my help. She’s not my type even before I got married. I like strong women who can hold their own.
As a marine who was gone a lot because of my team, I needed that kind of woman to keep the home fires burning. Someone I was sure wouldn’t crack at the first sign of trouble. I got the feeling I’d be standing in front of this one for a lifetime if I ever went there with her.
My brother wasn’t calling back and there was no sign of her. I was tempted to do something stupid and barely restrained myself by reminding myself that this is what’s best for her.
All day while she was in my house and I was hiding out, especially after lunch, I kept imagining having her. I saw myself doing some pretty grown up things to her little ass. All sure to make her walk crooked for a month.
I can’t remember the last time I had such vivid visions in my head of a sexual nature. And these were some of the nastiest yet. Not even as a horny teen did I imagine fucking anyone as hard as often and in as many positions as I imagined doing with her.
Maybe that’s why I’d reacted so harshly after finding her holding Elena’s picture. Because my dick had stayed hard for her all day and she was tying me up in knots. All shit I did not want or need.
I’m not even gonna touch on the guilt I feel each time I want her. Realistically I know it makes no sense. As far as most of my acquaintances are concerned I should’ve moved on a long time ago.
Some have even gone so far as to suggest that that’s what my wife would’ve wanted. How the fuck do they know? Did they ask her?
No one seems to understand that it should’ve been me. That that’s a guilt it would take three lifetimes to overcome. Even though I know the ones responsible were the ones who’d killed her, in my heart I still feel that she’d still be alive had she not been married to me.
So how can I move on so easily after just a few short years when there was no chance of her ever coming back? Is it any wonder that I resent this girl as much as I lust for her? Because she’s making me feel when I don’t want to and there doesn’t seem to be a damn thing I can do about it.
I was tempted to go after her just to prove to myself that it wasn’t as serious as I was letting on. That I could go back to the way things were before that fateful night. Before she stayed with me even in sleep.
But I was afraid that if I reopened that door there was no way she wasn’t going to end up on the end of my cock. I’d barely restrained myself yesterday why tempt myself again?
By the time I rolled into bed I’d pretty much convinced myself that it was for the best. That I’d done us both a favor by running her off. But my dick and my dreams wouldn’t let that shit go.
CASSIE
I really wasn’t looking forward to seeing the sheriff. I’d made up my mind to be done with his ornery brother and move on. It was obvious that he was still in love with the woman in the photograph whoever she is, and I have no place in his life.