Total pages in book: 126
Estimated words: 121734 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 609(@200wpm)___ 487(@250wpm)___ 406(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 121734 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 609(@200wpm)___ 487(@250wpm)___ 406(@300wpm)
She’d been looking down to make sure she didn’t fall, and when her head lifted, her eyes were wide. Startled. “With what?”
I stepped into her, my hand cupping the back of her head. She made a squeaking sound.
“This,” I said as I pulled her against me, molding our bodies together. “I want you.” I tilted her head back so she could look all the way up at me, meeting my gaze.
Her hands lifted to my chest. “You want me?” She seemed a little dazed. “I…” She licked her lips, and the slight resistance was gone. She sagged into me. “I shouldn’t.”
Yeah. Fuck that.
I bent down, and my lips touched hers.
12
RAIN
I—what? What?
I shoved Tyler back. What the fuck?
He froze, his hands still on me, but his head and chest bent away. He seemed startled. Then his eyes widened and he jerked back a step. “Wait. You’re not—I thought you were—that this—” He gestured between us. “—was a thing. I got that wrong?”
He hadn’t. My body told me that.
He’d looked at me, and I hadn’t been totally aware of what was going on because I was so locked in on my memories. I’d been skating and flying and feeling everything from the past, and for a moment, seeing Tyler at the glass watching me, I almost thought I was back in high school. That’s when I’d had such a huge crush on him. For a moment, some part of my fantasy had come to life.
He kissed me—an actual real touch. His lips were on mine. My mind had stopped thinking and my body began demanding, but then my brain caught up and reminded me that this could not happen.
“I got it wrong,” he said. “I thought… Shit. Fuck. I thought you were giving me come-hither eyes, and I was all about the coming and hithering, but now you’re looking at me like I…” He swore under his breath, raking his hands through his hair. He turned away, dug out his phone, and pressed a button. He shoved it back in his pocket, his eyes a little crazed. He turned away from me.
I still didn’t fully understand what was happening, but my body protested. “I…” I went back over the events and what he’d said. “Come-hither eyes?”
“Yes,” he snapped, his body rigid. “You were. But look, I’m not that type of guy. A person can change her mind, and that’s obviously what happened.”
His phone began blaring. Alert after alert poured in. He closed his eyes and cursed savagely. For a moment, it seemed as if the whole world had dropped onto his shoulders. Eventually, he let out a soft exhale and reached for his phone.
I caught his hand but didn’t take it in mine. I kept my fingers wrapped around his wrist. He stilled. I knew he was watching me, but I couldn’t look at him. Whatever this was between us, it was important. Because he wasn’t wrong. I had given him come-hither eyes, because I couldn’t help myself. I was already frayed at the edges, and he’d certainly returned that look.
I shook my head. There was a storm inside of me, but I shut it down. I did what I always did and put the lid on it, making everything go away. “I can’t do this. My job. And even if my job wasn’t a factor, I still couldn’t do this. I’m not good at it.”
“At what?”
“This.” I gestured between us.
“What? Fucking?”
“I—” I clamped my mouth shut, heat coming to my face because of course he would just be blunt about it. Why wouldn’t he? He probably never struggled in this area. He was a hockey god. His problem was turning options away.
His phone continued to ping and buzz incessantly, which wasn’t helping my flustered state. Finally I reached into his pocket and pulled it out. I hit accept on whoever was calling. “He’s in the middle of somethin—” I stopped because whoever was on the other side began sobbing.
Tyler had an odd expression on his face as I handed the phone to him. “It’s for you.”
He took it, his eyes not moving from mine for a beat before he looked at who had called. He pulled in a breath and turned his back to me as he raised the phone to his ear, “Ski?”
Oh no. Shock punched me so hard I fell back against the doorway of the rink, my elbow jamming. His sister. His twin, and I was the reason she… No, no. I couldn’t go there. I wouldn’t go there. Not now anyway. I’d been trying to work on that guilt. My therapist a long time ago had said it was misplaced, and maybe she was right, but I still felt it burning through me.
But it was yet another reason this thing between Tyler Griffin and me couldn’t happen.
He spoke to her in hushed tones, moving farther away. I felt hollow inside. That feeling was always there but watching him care for someone he loved made me ache. Jealousy, real and bitter and toxic, speared me, and I once again returned to high school.