Total pages in book: 126
Estimated words: 121734 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 609(@200wpm)___ 487(@250wpm)___ 406(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 121734 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 609(@200wpm)___ 487(@250wpm)___ 406(@300wpm)
Reaching up, I unlocked the door and he pushed in, easing the door gently until he spotted me. He came in and locked the door behind him. He turned the water on, testing the temperature. “Do you have the flu?”
His eyes were too knowing, so I wasn’t going to bullshit him. I shook my head. “No.”
He grabbed a bunch of paper towels and put them under the water. When he was satisfied, he turned the water off and handed them to me. As I used them to wipe off my face, he checked the toilet. The only other place to sit was by the toilet. He leaned against the wall in front of me. We both avoided that area.
“You saw your brother?”
I nodded, wordless, crumpling the paper towels in my hand.
“Is this…” His face was a storm of concern and other emotions. “Can I be frank with you?”
I held out a hand, indicating for him to go ahead. My tongue was too heavy. My throat hurt. I wasn’t going to talk unless I absolutely needed to.
He let out a soft sigh. “I wasn’t completely honest with you when we first met for dinner. When we found the connection between you and your brothers, we were confused about the secrecy. We went digging. We talked to some high school coaches, teachers, and even some neighbors. The picture we began to get wasn’t… It began to tell a story, and I knew we needed to stop if we were going to respect your privacy. We tried. I promise we did. I wasn’t surprised when you asked for your family connection to be kept secret and said you didn’t want to be here when we played their teams. But after your reaction today, I feel I need to ask…”
I waited, holding my breath.
“Would you like the opportunity to talk to someone? If seeing… If there was abuse of any sort in the house… It’s obvious something happened, and I’d hate it if this job was reopening old wounds.”
My eyebrows went up at abuse, but it made sense. I shook my head. “No,” I rasped out. Clearing my throat, I spoke again. “There was no physical or sexual abuse. Nothing like that. I never worried about my safety or having enough to eat. Nothing like that.”
“Oh.” It was clear that wasn’t what he thought I’d say.
I grimaced. “But you’re right. Coming back to hockey has brought up old stuff, and after seeing my brother just now, I’m sure I’ll be shaken for the rest of the day.”
His eyes clouded over again.
He deserved some of the truth. “There was neglect.” I looked away because this made me feel exposed. “There was extreme neglect in some aspects. Some verbal abuse. And some emotional abuse. It’s not the type of abuse that gets talked about, but there are wounds. Dane…” Shit, even saying his name out loud was difficult. My hand began shaking, so I tucked it under my leg. “He wasn’t as bad as Daniel, but there was no kindness either.”
Mal snorted before he flashed me a rueful grin. “That was unprofessional of me. I apologize, but I just thought that was appropriate, considering how he plays hockey. He’s not as much of a bully as your oldest brother, but he’s still a mean son of a bitch on the ice.”
I laughed, which felt good. “I’m not so fond of him, so no offense taken.”
He chuckled with me before he grew serious. “I’m sorry about this stuff, that it’s opening old wounds.” He hesitated. “If you ever wanted to talk to someone, I could be there for you. Lend a listening ear over a glass of wine, that sort of thing.” He held my gaze. “A friend if you’d like.”
I drew in some air, silently, but he saw my reaction.
His face became a mask of professional warmth. “Or not. That’s entirely up to you. I just wanted you to know that someone could care, does care.” He coughed. “I do care. And yes, if anything, as friends. Friends.” He said it again, more firmly. “Is there anything you need right now? I can send someone to bring you water? Your things? Mouthwash?”
I barked out a laugh. “No. I’m good. I promise.”
“Okay, but Rain, just in case you need to hear it, you’re wanted here. I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again. People care about you. If there’s anything you need, let me know. We’re all one big family. This is hockey, remember?”
Yes, it was. I thanked him, and after he left, I remained in the bathroom.
A hockey family.
I’d never understood what that word meant growing up. It was tossed around a lot, but it meant something different to me than it did the rest of the world. I’d needed to watch others in school, in college. I’d needed to see how their families treated them to realize that other families weren’t like mine. Other parents weren’t like my father. Other siblings didn’t loathe each other. They didn’t ignore each other, treat each other with disdain. Some siblings even loved each other. That was a novel concept to me, but by the time I began to piece together what was missing in my life, too much time had passed. I was too broken already.