Total pages in book: 126
Estimated words: 121734 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 609(@200wpm)___ 487(@250wpm)___ 406(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 121734 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 609(@200wpm)___ 487(@250wpm)___ 406(@300wpm)
Numb, numb, numb. I didn’t want to remember anymore. I didn’t want to feel anymore, but I couldn’t help admitting, “After my mom died, those were the only good memories I have of my brothers, and it was because of hockey. I loved the sport. I love the sport. It’s the only time Dane looked at me—when he had to, because I was their goalie.”
Finally.
Complete numbness achieved.
I’d ceased to feel anything. It was bliss.
“As an adult, when I look back, I realize my emotional development was neglected. But that was it, so can I really complain?” I laughed, the sound hollow. What was worse? Being seen and abused or not being seen? I couldn’t think of anyone who would choose the first option. Being unseen was an invisible prison of its own, but considering the alternative…
Kashvi’s voice shook a little. “Is there anything else I need to know?”
Yes. That I’m the reason Tyler’s sister has her brain injury.
But I couldn’t bring myself to admit that. I just couldn’t. I shook my head, lying. “That’s it from my end.”
“That’s not it,” Tyler said. He raked a hand over his face. “You can pull up all the history between our schools and our rivalry. Daniel dated my sister the summer after he graduated, which was before our senior year.”
Kashvi now stared hard at Tyler. “Are you shitting me?”
He shook his head. “They didn’t date long, and they broke up after they were in a car accident. She got a brain injury from that wreck.”
“He dumped your sister after that happened?”
He laughed bitterly. “I believe the excuse he gave was that he was leaving to join Juniors, so why stay together? But yeah, he dumped her while she was still in the hospital.”
Kashvi’s eyes slid my way before returning to her notepad. “What a swell guy.” She took a moment before she shoved back in her seat. “Jesus Christ, you guys. This could blow up in a big fucking way.” She looked between us. “I need to know how you want to play this and what you’re willing to do.”
I frowned. What did she mean?
Tyler looked over at me, a low heat simmering in his gaze.
My lips parted. I got an uneasy feeling.
Tyler turned to Kashvi. “I think it’s time the world knew what pieces of shit the Connors brothers are, don’t you?”
Kashvi laughed darkly, but there was a warning on her face. “I’ll be very honest here. There are a lot of ways this story could go sideways, and the blame could land on either your sister or Rain. Women get blamed. That’s how society is. If you want the narrative to go the way you want, I suggest you be the one to say everything. Or have this ready to go if we decide to use it.”
Tyler’s response was immediate. “Sign me the fuck up.”
My lungs ceased to work as fear gripped me. They couldn’t… Were they talking about…? I couldn’t process that. Both turned to me, waiting for my decision. I needed to say something, but didn’t they see how hard it had been to even tell them?
I had grown up as nothing. I wasn’t worth this fight, and people would see that. The public would see exactly what my father knew, what Daniel knew, what Dane knew. Didn’t Tyler see this? It wouldn’t go the way he was thinking. The public would hate me, and then they’d hate him too.
I shook my head, getting up from my seat.
I couldn’t do that to him.
He’d link himself to me if we did this, and eventually he’d see whatever was wrong with me. He’d identify what my family had seen right away, and then he’d be bitter. I couldn’t stick around and wait for the day he looked at me with the same hatred Daniel had—or worse, the day he looked through me the way Dane did.
Suddenly I was back in my apartment in Kansas City. I was at my kitchen table, the gun I’d bought in my hand.
Christ, I wished now that I’d used it. None of this would be happening.
“Rain?” Tyler stood with me.
I shook my head, backing away. “I can’t…” I whispered. I couldn’t get my voice to be any louder. It was physically impossible. Something was strangling me, choking my ability to breathe. “I can’t do this. I’m sorry.” I looked at Kashvi. “I resign.”
50
RAIN
Igot as far as the parking lot before Tyler burst through the door that had just closed behind me. “You’re going to run? That’s your answer?”
I stopped abruptly.
I had to face him. I knew this. Some deep sense told me that if I ran now, I’d be running forever. Tyler wouldn’t stop. He was a fighter. That’s what he did in every situation. And right now, he was fighting for me.
I turned, my chest heaving, and I tried not to think about what that meant. “You don’t understand.”