Total pages in book: 126
Estimated words: 116231 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 581(@200wpm)___ 465(@250wpm)___ 387(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 116231 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 581(@200wpm)___ 465(@250wpm)___ 387(@300wpm)
I put my arm around her shoulders and bring her to me. “Have I told you how beautiful you are?” I compliment, looking into her eyes.
“Have I told you how much I hate you?” she counters, and I laugh before kissing her lips.
“Let’s go see what’s for breakfast.”
We walk over to the side and sit down and the waiter comes over. “Good morning,” he says cheerfully, “how did we sleep?”
“Great,” I reply, looking around to see what we are going to eat. “Can I have a coffee?”
“We don’t really have coffee,” he answers sadly. “We have an oat milk matcha.”
“I’ll have one,” Kylie orders. “And what is for breakfast?”
“It’s a good one today,” he replies. “It’s either tofu scramble, or a yogurt parfait with homemade granola and berries.” Kylie has a fake smile on her face as she turns to look at me, her eyes going big as she glares at me.
“I’ll have the parfait,” she says. He nods. “He’ll have the scramble.” He walks away after I order an orange juice.
“I don’t want scrambled tofu,” I tell her. “I don’t even know what that is.” I look around.
“Why don’t you go online and see,” she suggests sarcastically. “Oh wait, you can’t, we don’t get service up here. Plus there are no phones allowed for the better of everyone’s well-being. You know to be in the moment.”
“Baby,” I say softly, “it’s good. We’ll get to really know each other.”
“I don’t want to know you,” she deadpans, and I laugh. “I want to know you less than I did yesterday.”
He comes back with a green juice for me, even though I ordered an orange juice. “We aren’t serving orange juice,” he says, “but that’s celery, apple, lemon, and ginger.” He points to the drink and, “the oat matcha.”
“Will you share with me?” I ask her. She shakes her head, and I roll my lips.
I finish the tofu scramble, which isn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be, and then we get up to do sunrise fucking yoga. I get on the mat next to her as she takes off her sweater and she gets into position for child’s pose. After two poses I think I have this, until we have to get up on our feet. I have to stand on one foot while picking up the other foot. I fall off-balance four times and she just laughs at me. Fucking bow pose, where I have to grab my feet from over my head, is ridiculous and when we finish, I vow to never fucking do that again.
We are then carted off to our four-hour hike after they hand us a snack. I look down at the small pack of black sea salt almonds. I rip the top open and look inside to see five almonds. “How many almonds do you have?”
“Everyone has the same,” she says, looking inside of hers. “It’s five.”
“What are we going to do with five almonds?” I ask her.
“I can tell you what I’d like to do with my five almonds.” She looks back up at me sweetly. “It includes anal for one of us, and it’s not me.”
“Don’t forget to grab your hiking vest,” the instructor tells us. “It’s filled with a first aid kit and water.”
“Is there a flare in there so I can send up a signal?” Kylie asks out loud, making everyone laugh.
We start the hike and it’s all uphill. An hour in, I feel like I’m going to die. By the second hour I want to throw myself off the cliff we are on. Who knew being in hockey shape would not be the same thing as being in hiking shape? Four hours and I’m panting and sweating like I just jumped into a shower and walked out. “That was fun,” Kylie says sarcastically. “We should do that again.”
“Okay, you have thirty minutes of free time,” the instructor announces, “and then lunch.”
“I’m fucking starving,” I complain and she laughs, looking down at her feet. “I need to change.” We walk back to the house, and I jump into the shower as she sits outside looking at the mountains. I want to say lunch is a big hearty fucking steak, but it’s a kale, cabbage, avocado, chickpea salad with a lemon drizzle, with a side of corn bread. I thought I was going to choke. “When we get back home,” I look at her, “I’m having the biggest burger known to mankind, with bacon,” I announce, my stomach grumbling. “Double bacon and cheese.”
“When we get back home, I’m blocking your number,” she declares, and I wrap my arm around her neck and pull her to me. She puts her hands on my sides. “I’m not kidding.”
“I know where you live,” I remind her, and I bend my head to kiss her.