Total pages in book: 55
Estimated words: 50801 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 254(@200wpm)___ 203(@250wpm)___ 169(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 50801 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 254(@200wpm)___ 203(@250wpm)___ 169(@300wpm)
“Holy shit,” Reese says, and we all laugh at her shocked reaction. “Sorry,” she chuckles. “But that’s huge. Talk about the definition of if he wanted to he would.”
“Right? I’ll never be able to repay him, even though he says I don’t need to. And he’s letting me crash his off-season trip tomorrow, like I mentioned.”
“To the Maldives,” Blakely says. “I wish he would’ve told Lawson about that trip. We could all go together.”
“Same,” Reese says. “But I get he wants a solo friend trip with you.” She eyes me suggestively.
“It’s not like that,” I say, but can’t help the thrill rushing through me at the thought. “He booked the trip before he even knew I’d be living with him.”
“That kiss at Clay’s party a couple weeks ago says otherwise,” Blakely says.
I take a large, hot gulp of my coffee.
That damn kiss.
It shook me up in ways I’d never felt before and hadn’t been able to get out of my mind since.
“You’ve dodged us on the group text when we’ve asked about it,” Reese adds. “But you can’t run away now. Not with an endless waffle bar in sight.”
I laugh, some of the tension loosening in my chest.
“So?” Blakely says. “Was that kiss as steamy as it looked? Because holy hot.”
“Hotter,” I admit, and they both squeal.
I glance around the restaurant, dipping my head. “Smooth,” I say after the table next to us has stopped looking at my friends’ display.
“You can’t blame us,” Blakely says, grinning at me. “We’ve not-so-subtly been suggesting for years that you and Pax are amazing together.”
“He’s my best friend,” I say, the argument my shield to protect my heart.
“Lawson was my friend,” Blakely counters. “Obviously not nearly as long as you and Paxton, but still. We were friends before we were…more.”
“And that kiss looked like more,” Reese says.
I lean back in my chair, contemplative. “It was more,” I admit, shaking my head. At least they don’t squeal this time, likely noting the worry lining my face. “But I don’t know what that means. Do we have chemistry simply because we’ve known each other so long and that’s all it is?”
Reese shakes her head. “I don’t think chemistry works like that.”
“You either have it or you don’t,” Blakely says.
“We definitely have it,” I say. “I didn’t know that…I maybe, sometimes wondered about it, but I didn’t know.”
“And now that you do?” Reese asks.
“And you’re living with him?” Blakely adds.
I press my lips together and shrug. “I don’t know,” I answer. “I think the kiss, or quite honestly, everything that happened with Liam and the way Paxton showed up for me—the way he always shows up for me—has made me want to admit to things I’ve denied for a very long time.”
Reese gasps, but nods for me to continue.
I sigh. “I maybe, kind of, have feelings for him.”
They both flash me sympathetic looks. “Yeah, that’s not news,” Reese says.
I take another bite, chewing it a bit harder. “I never wanted to admit that out loud because there’s too much at stake.”
“What do you mean?” Blakely asks.
“Paxton has always been my safe space,” I answer. “Ever since we were kids. The whole reason I have anxiety in crowds is because once, when our families were on a trip, I wandered off in a busy market and then suddenly couldn’t find my family. I was in a place I didn’t know, alone, and completely terrified I’d never find them. I panicked…” My throat tightens with just the memory even though it’s been over a decade since it happened. It doesn’t matter how long, that moment created a ripple effect through my life anytime I got separated from whoever I was out with in any crowded spaces. “But Paxton found me. I don’t know how. He always finds me.”
“And I have hundreds of stories like that,” I continue. “Not all of panic, but just…him. Me and him. Our lives are so tightly woven together, can you blame me for not wanting to risk that?”
“I totally understand,” Reese says.
“There’s a lot at stake,” Blakely adds.
“Exactly. I can’t throw away a lifetime of friendship just because I have feelings for him, and he kisses like a Greek god.”
They both chuckle at that.
“I can’t risk losing him,” I admit. “Because that’s what’s at stake. If we cross those lines, there’s no going back. Say it doesn’t work out between us? There’s no way we’d ever be like we are now ever again. And besides, he wants things I don’t—marriage, kids, dogs. All of it.”
“I don’t think you’re giving Paxton enough credit,” Blakely says, then flashes me an apologetic look. “Not that I don’t fully get your point. I’m just saying, he’s an emotionally mature and intelligent guy. I don’t see you two trying something beyond the friendship, it not working, and him going cold on you.”