Total pages in book: 55
Estimated words: 50801 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 254(@200wpm)___ 203(@250wpm)___ 169(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 50801 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 254(@200wpm)___ 203(@250wpm)___ 169(@300wpm)
Satisfaction at a good steal does little to sooth my jagged insides, but I’ll take it.
Lawson takes the shot, the puck hitting the back of the net to secure us the win.
A brief flash of happiness blazes through me, quickly crushed by the hollow feeling I haven’t been able to shake since yesterday.
Since I realized Monroe, the love of my life, would never feel the same for me.
It hurts just as much now as it did when I walked into my house yesterday, and it still hurts even after Coach gives us a congratulatory speech. It hurts while I turn down my friends’ multiple pleas to go out and celebrate tonight.
Hurts as I walk into my hotel room, freshly showered as I collapse on the bed.
Part of me wishes I can go back and time and store that ring somewhere Monroe would never find it. Then this never would’ve happened because I never would’ve pushed her. We’d be out celebrating the win with our friends, sneaking a few kisses before we had to go back to our assigned rooms with our assigned partners. I bunked with Lawson, so at least I know I have a few hours of solitude to wallow in my grief.
A knock sounds on the door, and I groan as I shove off the bed. “Did you forget your key—” My words die as I find Monroe on the other side of the door, not Lawson.
She’s beautiful even though she looks as wrecked as I feel.
“Can I come in?” she asks. “To talk, please,” she clarifies, like I might think she’s only here for some sort of physical release.
“Of course,” I say, closing the door behind her as she hurries inside. Relief is already pooling in my veins at just the sight of her, like having her here is righting some wrong in my life.
Even though she could be here to ask me to go back to being just friends.
I don’t think I’ll be able to do that. Not now. Maybe with time—
“I’m so sorry,” she says as she turns to focus on me, tears already welling in her eyes. “I didn’t mean to panic like I did.”
“Hey,” I say, opening my arms. “Come here.”
She immediately falls into my embrace, and I tuck her against my chest, breathing deeply at how perfect she fits against me.
“I’m sorry,” I say before she continues. “I should’ve stayed and talked things out. I just couldn’t handle hearing your truth and I apologize—”
“No,” she cuts me off this time, pulling out of my arms to look up at me. “You didn’t hear my truth.”
I swallow hard, bracing myself for her to let me down easy.
“You only saw my lies.”
I tilt my head.
“I know that doesn’t make any sense,” she groans, frustrated as she starts pacing. “Lies,” she continues. “Because my panic reaction isn’t how my heart reacted.”
“I’m having a hard time following that,” I admit.
“I get that,” she says. “I was having a hard time too. You see, Paxton, the first thought, instinct, and feeling I had at seeing the ring was yes. It was all the good things I’ve ever imagined between you and I, a life of happiness and fun and challenges and all the good stuff. But then that immediately led to all the bad that could happen, a picture of you and me tearing each other apart thirty years down the road like I’ve seen so many times before. But that was fear talking, maybe a reasonable fear, but not one with any credibility when it comes to me and you.”
Hope builds in my chest as I hang onto the first portion of her explanation where she said her instinct was yes.
“So,” she says, blowing out a breath and stopping in front of me. “I wanted to tell you before I found that ring. Wanted to tell you so many times before, but that fear held me back. The idea of hurting you or us and what we have has always held me back, always sent me running the opposite direction. The one I thought was safer.” She shrugs. “I’m done running.”
Monroe pulls something from her pocket, dropping to one knee in front of me, freezing me in utter shock.
“Paxton,” she says, holding up a small, plastic ring. “You are my best friend, the love of my life, the one constant I’ve always clung to. You’re my lifeline, the happiness in every single day, and I’ve loved you for far longer than you’ve ever known. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?”
My mouth drops, a laugh rumbling from my chest.
“Seriously,” I say, tugging her to her feet.
Her smile drops. “I’ll get you a nicer ring,” she says. “This was all I could find at the store near the hotel—”
I take the ring from her, sliding it on my pinky. It only fits halfway. “No, not that,” I say. “Are you sure? We don’t have to take this step right now,” I explain. “We don’t ever have to take it. I just want to be with you.”