Total pages in book: 114
Estimated words: 105756 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 529(@200wpm)___ 423(@250wpm)___ 353(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 105756 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 529(@200wpm)___ 423(@250wpm)___ 353(@300wpm)
She cast me a regretful look. “I’m sorry, Jonathan, but I can’t.”
Dismay filled my gut. “Can’t or won’t?”
“I like living here, and I don’t want to jeopardize that,” she replied, avoiding the question slightly. “Whatever attraction you hold for me, I know that’s not the reason you offered me the apartment.”
“It isn’t.”
“Good. So, I hope my decision not to take things any further than they went last night doesn’t change your mind about letting me live here.” There was such vulnerability in her words I found myself clenching my fist.
“I’m not that much of a prick,” I grunted. “Of course, you can continue living here. I’ll even … Christ, I should’ve done this sooner, but I’ll have Therese draw up an official tenancy agreement. How does a year’s lease sound? I don’t want you to feel like I could kick you out at any moment. That’s not what … Fuck, Ada, I didn’t think. Forgive me.”
Her warm palm came to rest atop my hand. “That would do a lot to put my mind at ease, but I still don’t think it’s a good idea for us to become involved. We’ve both just lost our parents. I fear we’d be latching onto one another as some form of coping mechanism.”
I stilled at her insight. I had considered that since I knew I liked having her around because of her connection to Mam, but that wasn’t the only reason I was drawn to her. Ada was enchanting all on her own. She had an energy, a way of being that called to me. When we were in the same room, I could hardly keep my eyes off her, unable to resist drinking her in. But it was clear she wasn’t ready to hear that I had feelings for her.
“You might be right,” I lied, tucking those feelings away in a drawer and turning the key. “And I thought as a ‘one,’ I was supposed to be the logical thinker.”
Her expression softened. “Perhaps you’re more of a six than I gave you credit for.”
“Perhaps.”
“Friends?” Ada asked, her expression tentative.
I lifted my wine glass and clinked it with hers. “Of course.”
We stayed like that for a long few moments. My cock wasn’t enthused about being relegated to the friend zone, but I refused to push her into territory she either didn’t want or wasn’t ready for. Besides, becoming involved at this very moment in time was a recipe for disaster. I hadn’t even had my first session with the grief counsellor yet. For all I knew, it could take months for me to mentally recover from Mam’s death, years even, and I refused to saddle Ada with whatever tangled web lay inside me. It was something I had to tackle on my own.
“I should get to bed. I’m exhausted,” Ada said then, breaking the quiet we’d been sitting in.
“I’ll walk you to your door.”
She nodded, and I followed her out. When she crossed the hall and approached her door, she turned back, “Thanks for being so great. I … I honestly had no idea what a good person you’d turn out to be.”
Her words had too many feelings clogging my throat. When was the last time anyone called me a good person? I knew Maggie thought I was good deep down. Therese, too. But did anyone else think that of me? I was pretty sure most of the people who worked for me feared and respected me, but that was all. Unable to respond, I simply dipped my head in goodnight and returned to my apartment.
***
The next week and a half passed in a predictable fashion. Ada and I shared journeys to and from work each day. She was still saving money to have her car fixed, and it took all my restraint not to seize control of the situation and have it repaired myself. Hell, it took all my restraint not to buy her a new car. I could certainly afford it, and her old Yaris had seen better days. I didn’t enjoy the thought of her driving around in that thing.
My attraction to her hadn’t faded at all. Troublingly, it had only grown stronger. I found myself distracted often on our journeys, staring at her profile as she watched the city pass by out the window instead of working as I normally would. It was the whole reason I employed a driver instead of driving myself. I used the time to get important things done, but that wasn’t happening with Ada sitting next to me.
“Are you looking at art?” she asked midway through one of our morning commutes. My laptop was open in front of me, and I was looking at an email Maggie had sent containing pictures of Shay’s recent exhibition.
“Yes, it’s Maggie’s husband’s,” I replied. “He has a day job, but he’s also an artist on the side who sometimes sells his work at exhibitions.”