Total pages in book: 60
Estimated words: 56238 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 281(@200wpm)___ 225(@250wpm)___ 187(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 56238 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 281(@200wpm)___ 225(@250wpm)___ 187(@300wpm)
Unfortunately, the damage to Debbie’s brain was too much. Apparently, she hit her head either on the window or the head rest causing a brain bleed, along with other internal injuries, there simply was no hope. At the hospital, they had Debbie on life support. Danae was able to hold her mother’s hand, talk to her, and even lay in the bed one last time beside her. The nurse came to visit, and Danae overheard Nanny talking to her. This is how she learned this woman’s dedication to her mom.
Danae is a compassionate and dedicated nurse. She still lives with Papa. After Nanny died while she was still in nursing school at the local community college, she didn’t want to leave the old man alone. My parents left Arkansas to become missionaries. While my mother has offered to return to care for her ailing father, it isn’t genuine.
It’s funny, the older we get, the more our parent’s flaws stand out. I love my mother and father, but they are not the selfless people they present to the church they work for. In fact, they didn’t ever take me or my sister to church. Not once. But they found God. The cult they have joined told them to sell all of their possessions to take up their cross to follow them.
I don’t think that’s what the bible instructs. Their lives are their decisions, I stopped trying to reason with them years ago. While our relationship hasn’t been what I desired, I still could call them.
Well, until Brett.
Not Brett when we fell in love or got married. No, they took my calls then.
It was when I filed for divorce.
According to their religion, I’m going to Hell. Their precious souls can’t be tied to such a disgrace, and I mean that with every ounce of sarcasm in my body. Somehow my divorce is going to spread to their souls and cause them to be in purgatory by association with me. Do not ask me how any of this makes sense, but to them it is a fact and therefore to protect their purity they had to cut ties with me.
Since they are more devoted to their church life than family, it left Danae to care for our grandfather. My sister Jackie and I try to come home as often as possible to give her a reprieve and some support, but it simply gets harder and harder as time passes by. Jackie lives with her wife and their two dogs in California now. Small-town Arkansas wasn’t her vibe.
I’m not alone in being expelled from the family by our parents, they think Jackie is possessed by a demon for her unholy acts. I might not have been raised in church, but I have heard that God is love. Well, if God is love, then the relationship my sister and her wife share is filled with him because I’ve never met two people more in love. I loved Jonah with every breath I took, and I still love him today, but the love Jackie and Nancy have is remarkable. They are soul mates. If my parents can’t accept that, it’s their loss. I embrace them fully.
I just wish our hometown could have been more accepting. Then Danae wouldn’t be alone.
I should have moved home after Jonah died. At the time, though, lost in grief, I wanted to stay close to our memories. I needed that connection to him. Simple things like going to the grocery store felt monumental in the early stages of grief. Telling myself to embrace the memories of shopping with him, well, it got me through.
“I want to come home and help you,” I tell her from my heart. “I have some time off from work. I know Sara will approve it.”
“Please wait. I appreciate you for wanting to come. Really, though, I need you and Jackie when he passes. I need to know you have time off to come help me figure out my life without them, without him.”
“I can understand and respect that.” I let the tear fall.
“Why is our family cursed with loss?” She asks exactly what I’m thinking.
“I don’t know, but my heart shatters each and every time we take another hit.”
How much more can I take?
Five
Raff
Outlaw State of Mind – Chris Stapleton
Time is a thief that never stops. My sister always said that watching her son as he grew up reaching each milestone. While I can understand her sentiment being a mom, time didn’t bother me until now. Being away this long gnaws at me in a way I’ve never experienced before.
Two fucking weeks on the road, I’m beat as I finally roll into my driveway. My body is tense while my mind is locked down the rabbit hole of my past. Having her as my neighbor has brought all of this stuff up inside me. I can see the broken inside her. I know first-hand the damage of trauma to a soul. Yet, this fire in her eyes shows her determination to survive.