Total pages in book: 60
Estimated words: 56238 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 281(@200wpm)___ 225(@250wpm)___ 187(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 56238 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 281(@200wpm)___ 225(@250wpm)___ 187(@300wpm)
When Dean asked me to come, I was excited especially because he asked if Justice would be comfortable first. Knowing how much Sara loves these things I said sure.
Here we are.
The lot is packed and spilling over across the street to Honey’s Hot Rod’s which is where we are parked. We walk over to the compound. Once behind the gates there are grills smoking, men and women standing around while kids run wild everywhere. Classic rock music plays from speakers that I can’t seem to locate. They are loud but not obnoxiously so that I can’t think or have a conversation.
I watch Dean as he confidently interacts with everyone. The pride he carries himself with here is different. I can’t explain it. Somehow, he knows he is wanted, accepted here, maybe that is it.
Justice tugs at my hand and looks to Dean, “they have a bounce house!”
Dean smiles at my son, “told you this would be fun.”
“It gets better every time we come!” Justice says taking off to go bounce.
This isn’t the first time I’ve stopped at the clubhouse with Dean, but it is our first barbecue.
“You good?” Dean asks me giving my hand a squeeze.
“You expect me not to be?”
He shakes his head. “Nah, but it’s a crowd of people, loud. It can sometimes be overload.”
“You with me?” I challenge knowing the answer.
He smirks, “all day, every day I can be.”
“Then I am more than good.”
He leans over pressing a soft kiss to my temple.
Casual, understated, but it all means the world.
We stroll the area until Sara grabs me and pulls me away to meet the other ol’ ladies. They seem to embrace me. I find myself laughing at some of the stories about the brothers. As I glance at my son not one moment has a smile left his face.
Sara is mid-story, animatedly sharing a night with Honey and some others that has her still refusing to drink tequila just as Honey approaches. Her expression is gentle but serious. She’s an enigma I’m learning. A woman who commands attention without trying, with her wild brown waves and piercing vibrant eyes that seem to see straight through everyone, including me.
“Josie, can we chat a sec?” Honey’s voice is smooth but firm letting me know this isn’t exactly an optional conversation.
I nod, offering an apologetic smile to Sara before following Honey toward the quieter side of the lot.
“I like you,” Honey starts, crossing her arms while studying me. “I see the way Raff is with you and your son. I like that too.”
“Um,” I mutter unsure what to say.
Her eyes soften, “and that is why it’s important for me to get this off my chest.” She takes a deep breath as if deciding how blunt to be with me. “Raff’s a good man. Solid in ways I’m not sure you know. He’s seen more than his share of shit. Ate more shit than most and still standing strong in his own values. He doesn’t let people in easy. When he does, it’s all in. There is no one foot in and one foot out with him. He doesn’t know how. When someone matters, they matter until the end of time to him.”
My chest tightens as her tone makes me uneasy. “I know his story. I’m not playing games with him if that’s what you think.”
“That’s not what I’m worried about.” She studies me further, “I see the ghosts in your eyes. We all have ‘em. Some call them skeletons but a bag of bones ain’t shit to the way a ghost haunts you. I need to know you’re ready for this. For him.”
My heart stalls. The truth is I don’t know if I’m ready for any of this. What I know is I want to try. She has no idea my ghost. Jonah’s memory clings to me. Brett only left scars that feel like they may never heal.
“I care about him,” I admit. “He’s been nothing but patient with me. I would like to think I’ve given him the same.”
She nods in understanding. “Just don’t run when shit gets real whether that comes from your ghosts or his.”
Her words linger after she walks away settling on my soul.
Dean never gets out of my line of sight. Always stealing glances to make sure I’m comfortable. I find myself able to relax like I haven’t done before. Dean never strays far. Moving between conversations, clapping backs and exchanging easy grins with his club brothers, his gaze always finds mine. A silent check-in, a reassurance, a promise he is with me. An unspoken code that I belong here … if I want this.
The night stretches on warmth spreading through me as I enjoy taking in Justice bouncing around between all the kids his age, completely at ease. This world is different than I imagined my life, Justice’s would be. Maybe that isn’t a bad thing. Stability doesn’t have to be a white picket fence and a gated community. Maybe it comes in calloused hands that build, fix, and comfort. Covered in unwavering loyalty and a group of people who protect and accept their own no matter the past.