Total pages in book: 107
Estimated words: 101887 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 509(@200wpm)___ 408(@250wpm)___ 340(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 101887 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 509(@200wpm)___ 408(@250wpm)___ 340(@300wpm)
“Sometimes, I think he is the only one other than those two who knows the truth. Or at least some part of it. I thought … Never mind.”
“You thought what?”
“I shouldn’t say anything.”
“Mom,” I growl.
“There is so much you don’t know. Things not known outside of the horsemen. Some things not even my brother knew.”
“Then tell me. I’m not five anymore. These people are still in my life.”
She sighs and rubs her forehead. “I thought Freddie was looking into something about the connection just before he died. He wouldn’t tell me straight out, but something was going on. He asked me to stay away from the guys for a while.
“Since the funeral, I’ve only recently been in touch with Dayton like we used to be. After my scare, he and Byron reached out to me. I’m only thinking of all this now,” she muses.
“I want you to stay away from all of this,” I bite out.
“Little girl—”
“Don’t little girl me. I’m telling you this for your own good. If Uncle Freddie gave you a warning, he had a reason for it. Just because he’s gone doesn’t mean the threat is.”
“You should be careful too.”
I nod my head, but get the feeling that’s not what my uncle wanted. His final letter to me, which he left with his will, is starting to make more sense. He was speaking in code, but now I think he was giving instructions and a warning.
That letter is the reason I haven’t rushed to step up and why I haven’t walked away completely. It’s the reason I allow Lyric to run things for me and why I asked LaSalle to keep my identity a secret. I’ve been doing exactly what my uncle told me to do.
“Danny, I’m so sorry,” my mom says, pulling me from my musing. “Now that I’m older and wiser, I see that I made happen just what I wanted to avoid. We lose people every day. Some will hurt more than others, but you can’t live life afraid to let new people in because of those losses.
“I should’ve told you the truth about your father, but I was hurt, and you were so little, I didn’t know what to do.”
Suddenly, it’s like a light is turned on. Things begin to fall into place and it’s like I’m watching my own entire life with true understanding.
“How did you think telling me he left me was the better option? How did making me feel unwanted make sense to you? Do you remember how much I loved that man?
“My father was my world. All my life, I’ve run into relationships blindly, looking for something that’s been missing because I thought I was unworthy of love.
“Always people-pleasing because I didn’t want to be left out or hurt. Only to end up with trust issues and confused about why I can’t find someone who wants to stay.
“No, not someone. I’ve been looking for him. I’ve been trying to find a father who I thought walked out on me in everyone I’ve let in to hurt me.
“Including your trifling-ass daughter. I want to trust Ronan. I’m trying so hard to, but I can’t tell that man I love him because I’m terrified he’s going to leave me.
“That’s why I didn’t tell you about him. That’s why I haven’t told him the truth about anything about me.”
“Danny, baby, I’m sorry. It doesn’t make sense to me now either. Freddie tried to tell me it was wrong.
“That’s why he was always there. He felt guilty. He wanted to fix it.”
“How? By making me just like him? Trust me, that didn’t fix a damn thing. It just fucked me up in a new way,” I seethe.
“Watch your mouth, Danika. He didn’t make you like him. He made you just like your father, the original pale horse. The one who taught him everything he knew about the streets to put together with all that book smarts and wisdom.”
I jerk my head back as I narrow my eyes at her. She nods her head as she looks back at me. She then tilts her head to the side.
“Oh, you thought I didn’t know? You think you’re the only bad chick in this family? I was in those streets with my brother and your father way before the money, way before I gave birth to your little ass.
“I knew each of those men your uncle ran with before they were high and mighty and were given that name. It belonged to your father first. He was the one who was feared.
“I’m the original Baby Girl and your father was a bad motherfucker.” Tears fill her eyes as her lips begin to tremble. “That is why I was devastated when they took him from us. My brother promised me he would make you untouchable and give you back everything they took from us.