Total pages in book: 120
Estimated words: 117740 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 589(@200wpm)___ 471(@250wpm)___ 392(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 117740 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 589(@200wpm)___ 471(@250wpm)___ 392(@300wpm)
ME: On my hands.
ME: And go back again.
ME: Then smush my face into them.
OLIVER: It’s hardly a party for me, either.
ME: Then let’s just never speak to each other again. That sounds far more palatable for us both.
OLIVER: We should clear the air. Regardless of our first meeting, we have a professional relationship we should maintain.
ME: I was going to make Colin deal with you, to be honest. I’m too busy working out how to make your life a living hell. I hardly have the time for anything else these days.
OLIVER: You’re terrifyingly honest.
ME: Thank you, it’s one of my better qualities. I get it from my mother.
OLIVER: I didn’t ask.
ME: I don’t care.
OLIVER: One meeting. Thirty minutes. I want to apologise.
ME: No. You want to know what I told my fellow allotmenteers about you. Do I look like an idiot to you?
OLIVER: From what I’ve heard you act like one sometimes.
ME: Only when I need to get on the other person’s level. Like when I talk to you. I don’t want to confuse those of lesser intelligence, after all.
OLIVER: You know I can just come and find you at your allotment.
ME: Please do.
OLIVER: Didn’t you just tell me you didn’t want to meet me?
ME: I have tools in my shed at the plot. I can just hit you with my spade if you come there.
OLIVER: … Never mind the honest bit. You’re just terrifying.
ME: Excellent. My plan to rule through fear is progressing nicely.
OLIVER: I have no idea how to handle you.
ME: That’s exactly what I was going for.
OLIVER: I see this is going nowhere. I’ll come and find you at your plot. When are you usually there?
ME: I’m not telling you.
OLIVER: Must you always be so difficult?
ME: You’re the one disregarding my desire never to speak to you again. Figure it out yourself if you want to see me that badly.
OLIVER: It’s not that I particularly want to see you, more that I must.
ME: Sucks for you, then.
ME: I have to get back to work. I look forward to you chasing me around.
OLIVER: I won’t be chasing you.
ME: Shame. I was going to put it on my LinkedIn profile.
ME: “Owner of Lawn and Order, Chairwoman of Hanbury Allotment Committee, Recipient of harassment from the Duke of Hanbury.”
OLIVER: …
OLIVER: I’ll see you soon, Rose.
ME: Forgive me for not looking forward to it, Oliver.
10
* * *
ROSE
A Noble Stalker
“No.”
“Just open the gate, Rose.”
“No.”
“It’s a four-foot-high fence. I can just climb over it.”
“‘No’ is a complete sentence, sir.”
“This is my property.”
“That I pay to occupy,” I said, gripping the gate even tighter. “Landlords cannot force their way into a tenant’s space.”
Oliver gripped the gate either side of my hands, bending down until our eyes were level, and half-smiled. He was so close, and I hated the way my body reacted to the fact there were just millimetres between us. My heart thumped against my ribs at our closeness, even though my mind wanted to hit him with my trowel.
After all, I knew all too well what it was like to be pressed up against his person.
“This is an allotment, not a three-bedroom house, and the individual contracts each plot holder signs says no such thing. In fact, they say that the landowner may visit and check the status of each plot without notifying the tenant,” he said in a low voice. “I made sure to read the contract properly this time, princess.”
I clenched my jaw. Damn it. Someone learnt his lesson. “I really hate you, do you know that?”
“I’m glad my efforts are paying off. So, may I come in?”
“You may not, but I also don’t want you climbing my fence and crushing my plants, so I don’t suppose I have much choice. Also,” I said, staring at him. “You’re too close. Please take a step back.”
He waited for a moment, still smiling at me, then did as I asked.
Slowly.
Painfully slowly.
Never mind making his life a living nightmare—it was going to happen to me, wasn’t it? Was this that bitch called karma?
I unlocked the gate and tugged it open, promptly turning my back on Oliver. I didn’t want to see him, so if I didn’t look at him, it was problem solved.
Mostly.
Kind of.
I was just gaslighting myself at this point.
I peered back over my shoulder to see Oliver looking around my plot. There was a spark of interest in his eyes. “Are you enjoying looking at my vegetables? I’m sorry I’m merely growing them on such valuable land.”
“I’m not sure you’re growing them as much as they are just growing wildly.” He pointed to my pumpkin plant. “That thing is like something out of a horror movie.”
“That thing is a pumpkin plant, you uneducated swine.”
“Uneducated swine? I went to boarding school, you know.”
“And you still can’t recognise a pumpkin plant? What a waste of money,” I retorted. “Not that it matters. It probably won’t ripen in time for me to harvest it before you rip this place out from under our feet.”