Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 83059 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 415(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83059 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 415(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
“I’m so sorry, Rowan. And no, this is not pity. This is me caring for my friend. This is me showing you that you’re not an inconvenience, and you’re not a paycheck. You’re someone I care about.”
“We care about you,” Sloane says, hopping off Reid’s lap, coming over to us, and wrapping her arms around both of us. I’m sure that we all look ridiculous, but my heart doesn’t care as it swells in my chest for these two incredible ladies.
My friends.
“Back it up, ladies,” Reid says, and before I know it, the girls step away, and he’s taking their place, followed by Baker, Foster, Knox, and then there’s Landry. His hand is still locked around mine, and he leans in close, using his free arm to hug me tightly to his chest.
“You are so much more, Roe,” he whispers before pulling back, still not releasing my hand.
I take comfort in his touch. I know I shouldn’t, and I swore to myself that I’d never let another man get close enough to give me false hope, but that’s not what this is. He’s just being a nice guy, a friend, and I can definitely use that for the next part of my confession.
“In school, I kept my head down and focused on making the grades. Partly because it was required of me by my foster family and the other part because I knew that when I graduated and turned eighteen, I would be on my own. I needed scholarships to make it to college, and I needed to pick a career that was a quick degree because I would be on my own.”
Landry hands me the bottle of water I was sipping from, and I take another long pull before placing it back on the table. “I met Chaz in college. We had an anatomy class together, and we were placed in a group project. He flirted with me and gave me lots of attention, and as someone who had never received it, I soaked up everything he was willing to give me like a sponge.”
“You don’t have to keep going,” Corie tells me.
“It’s okay. I need to get this out so you can understand my reaction.” Pulling in a deep breath, I start again. “He was nice to me. He did little things like making sure I got into my dorm okay and brought my favorite coffee. He was popular and handsome, and it appeared that he was giving me all of his extra time and attention. It felt like he was mine. I’d never had that, you know? Someone who was mine. Someone who cared and was in my corner because they wanted to be, not because they were paid to be. The year he got drafted, I graduated with my associate’s degree. I was a physical therapist assistant, and the plan was to find a job, start working, and then eventually return to school to become a full-time therapist. However, Chaz asked me to go with him. He wanted me, and at the time, I was young and impressionable, and I wanted to be wanted.”
My heart is racing, but I’m almost there. I need to keep pushing through. “I went. We moved from Michigan to Los Angeles, and that’s when things began to change slowly. He would be gone all the time. I know this industry is busy, but he would often come home at late hours. Our house was a constant party. Not just people coming over to hang out. We’re talking booze, people I’d never met, and it felt like half of the time, Chaz didn’t know them either. He always needed to be surrounded and be the center of attention. One night, one of the guys paid me too much attention. That was the first time he hit me. I smiled at the man, and Chaz hated that.”
I swallow hard, not sure I can get through this after all, but Landry squeezes my hand gently, reminding me these are my people. For the first time, I keep pushing forward. “He said he was sorry, wiped my tears, and held me all night. It was the first time in months he’d shown me any kind of affection.”
“Motherfucker,” Landry curses under his breath.
“It kept happening. Degrading me for what I was wearing, how I looked, for talking to someone too long, looking at them with interest, which I never did. Chaz pushed me around. A slap here or there turned into a more regular occurrence. It was never hard enough to cause serious injury. I knew it was wrong to stay as long as I did, but I was scared. He was all I had, and I didn’t know where to go or what to do.”
Swallowing back the lump in my throat, I blink back tears and push forward. “One night, there was a knock at the door. I didn’t think anything of it. It was a couple of vaguely familiar guys. They forced their way into the house, claiming they would wait for Chaz. They seemed shady, but they were nice enough and never touched me. However, when Chaz got home, he was pissed there were guys in the house with just me. He accused me of cheating, something only he did in our relationship, which I found out from his confession after I left. He hit me, and this time, he hit hard enough that he fractured my jaw and broke two of my ribs. I was bruised and battered. I painfully, very slowly, drove myself to the hospital and told them I was jumped. I was never seen out with Chaz publicly. Something else that changed between us after he was drafted, so no one recognized me. As soon as I was released, I got in my car and drove. I didn’t care where I ended up, but I knew I wasn’t going back to him.