Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 83059 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 415(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83059 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 415(@200wpm)___ 332(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
“I don’t care. I’m up for anything. Nothing scary, though.”
“Nothing scary,” he repeats as he pushes around on the screen. “This should do.” He hits play.
“50 First Dates.” I’m surprised at his selection.
“It has Adam Sandler in it. Have you seen it?”
“I have. Have you seen it?” I ask. I assumed he’d pick some kind of action movie.
“Yeah. I grew up with my mom and Corie. Once I was the only guy in the house, I lost the vote most of the time. It’s good. Do you want to watch something else?”
“No. This is fine.” I doubt I’ll be paying too much attention to it anyway with him sitting this close to me.
He places the tablet on the chair next to us. “Come here.” He pulls me closer and pushes the button on the side of the chair to recline us. I wiggle around and end up lying on my side, against his chest and with his arm around me.
The movie plays, but I can’t pay much attention because his fingers are in my hair. It’s a simple touch, but it’s lighting my body on fire. I’ve never felt this kind of attraction before.
“I like you here,” he tells me, his voice gravelly.
“I’m sure you get lonely living in this big ole house all on your own.”
“I do, but I meant here. In my arms. The house too. Just next to me, anywhere, really,” he says.
I lift my head to look at him. I study his face from the light of the screen. “You mean that, don’t you?”
“Yeah,” he replies.
“This was supposed to be pretend.”
“Plans change, Roe.”
“Have yours?” I adjust the way I’m lying so that I can peer up at him more easily. “I spent far too long with a man who didn’t care about me. Sure, he might have in his own way, but not in the way that I deserved. I was too scared to leave him, fearing being on my own. It took him sending me to the hospital to get out.”
“I’m not him,” Landry says, his voice stern.
“I know that. I’m not saying that you are.”
“What are you saying, Rowan?”
“I’m saying that I spent a long time scared. I was afraid to fight for what I wanted, for what I deserved. I was with a man who didn’t care, and I let myself be sucked into his world as an afterthought. I found the courage to walk away. With that courage, I’ve discovered what I don’t want for my future.”
“Tell me.”
“I don’t want to be second. I don’t want to have to guess what the other person is thinking or feeling. I want to be able to talk about my feelings and express my concerns. I want to have friends and do things outside of my relationship. I want a man who will look at me like I’m his entire world. I want to know that I’m the only one for him. Just me. I want to be enough.”
Landry takes my hand in his. “You’ll never be second. You’re too special to be anything but first. I’m an open book, always have been, and I’ll always tell you how or what I’m feeling. I want you to talk to me. About the weather, your period, makeup, work, clothes, us, sex, bills… I don’t care what it is. If you’re talking, I’m listening. You have friends. You have a life that you’ve built here, and I’d never take that away from you. I just want the chance to be a small part of it. I don’t know how I look at you, but I do know that you’re all I’ve been able to think about. I no longer see other women because it’s only you. I’m not a cheater, never have been, and I never will be. No one in this world could ever entice me to betray you.” He lifts my hand to his lips and kisses my knuckles. “Rowan Mills, you are enough. You are everything, and no, I’m not pretending. This isn’t fake for me. And since you want honesty, I’m not sure it ever was.” My heart feels full, almost as if it’s too big for my chest. I never expected him, yet here he is, and he wants me. Tears form in the back of my eyes, but I blink them away.
“This is all happening so fast. I never thought I’d be here, and definitely not this soon.”
“You’ve been here for over a year, and have been single for a while now. There is no timeline, Rowan. You have to do what feels right for you.”
“I’m scared.”
“Tell me why?”
“Because he hurt me. He took away my voice, my courage, my self-esteem. I allowed him to control my life.”
“I would never, baby.”
I nod. “I know, but—” I stop myself from confessing more.
“I’m right here. Nothing you say is going to change what I’m feeling. I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want you. I don’t bring women to my house. I don’t bring them into my inner circle. Just you, Rowan. Only you.”