Total pages in book: 100
Estimated words: 97364 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 487(@200wpm)___ 389(@250wpm)___ 325(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 97364 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 487(@200wpm)___ 389(@250wpm)___ 325(@300wpm)
“My mum died. Your dad died. Sylvie died! Everyone is searching for the goddamn cure, but no one is searching for the cause. There is no money to be made in eliminating the cause of cancer.”
“Scarlet, that’s not true.”
“It doesn’t have to be true! It’s just my own opinion. The cure is prevention. If we prevent cancer, then we don’t need a cure. But there’s no money in prevention. I’ve hacked into research databases, email, and financial records of the largest pharmaceutical companies. Cancer is no longer a disease, IT’S A FUCKING BUSINESS! And we buy it hook, line, and sinker. ‘Hurray! My cancer is gone.’ A year or two later—at best—I’m dead because the chemo and radiation obliterated my immune system, so the next time those cancer cells start to divide, they spread like wild fire because there are absolutely no defense mechanisms left. But … here’s the silver lining … the pharmaceutical companies make money with round two of cancer treatment as some last-ditch effort that they know won’t save me at this point. Instead, it leaves my family with false hope and two seconds later I’m dead!”
Shock. That’s all I see in Daniel’s lifeless expression. A toxic mix of regret and relief war somewhere between my head and my heart. I’ve shattered his hopes of changing my mind and for that I feel terrible. At the same time, I feel liberated. Never, ever have I said those words aloud. For years I’ve watched people I love die, and I’ve always held my opinions to myself because they are not an answer for anyone but me. But now it’s me, and all I want is for the people who love me to respect my wishes without trying to change my mind or make me feel irresponsible or crazy.
“This is complete madness.” His voice becomes weaker with each word.
“I always go with my gut. If a thousand people are in queue for door A but my eye is drawn to door B with no queue, I choose door B. The most brilliant and innovative people throughout history have shunned the norm, questioned authority, charted new territory, and challenged beliefs that no one before them had ever dared to challenge.”
“Cut. Poison, Burn. Call it whatever you want, Scarlet. It’s your only option for staying alive.” He looks up.
“Those three years … Sylvie wasn’t living. She was dying, and it was a fucking miserable death sprinkled with a few moments of false hope.” I take in a deep breath, relishing each one that I have left in this life. “Go take a poll, Daniel. Ask every cancer survivor, if given the choice would they have chosen their ‘lifesaving’ treatment or to never have had cancer in the first place. It’s so messed-up. We are a corporate run world. Medicine is a business. Follow the money, Daniel. There is no corporate incentive to prevent cancer or even find a true fucking cure!”
He blinks at me over and over. “Jesus, Scarlet, you’re jumping off a cliff without a parachute.” Daniel pulls me into his arms as all my fight is drained, leaving me with nothing but my sobbing emotions.
“It buys me six more months at best,” I whisper. “Six miserable months of having poison in my veins killing me as fast as the cancer. Six more months of practically living in a hospital. Six months of waiting to die. I won’t do it. I feel fine today, and I might feel fine tomorrow and the next day.”
“The wedding …”
I frown. “There’s not going to be a wedding.”
“We can move it forward.”
I laugh, pushing him away and wiping my tears. “We could. But really … why?”
“I’m supposed to leave next week.”
I press my salty, tear-stained lips together as I shake my head. “I’m not asking you to stay.”
“Fucking hell, Scarlet! What is that supposed to mean?”
“All the reasons you fell in love with me no longer exist. All the reasons we fell in love no longer exist.”
He shakes his head. “That’s not true.”
“You almost married another woman, but you didn’t. And why was that?”
“Scarlet, don’t do this.”
“You didn’t marry her because you knew that her dreams of babies and big fluffy dogs would lead to missed opportunities. You were, and still are, unapologetically married to your career.” I fist my hands at my heart. “That’s what made me love you—your ambition, your desire to live every single second to the absolute fullest. Don’t give that up for me or anyone else. It’s not selfish, it’s admirable and commendable and … beautiful.”
I hug his back, he laces our fingers together over his chest.
“If you stay. I will die. If you leave. I will die.” I move around to face him.
He blinks and big, fat tears roll down his cheeks. He’s seen me cry once since he’s known me, but I’ve never seen him cry until now—not even when his father died.