Total pages in book: 152
Estimated words: 145155 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 726(@200wpm)___ 581(@250wpm)___ 484(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 145155 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 726(@200wpm)___ 581(@250wpm)___ 484(@300wpm)
“It is, is it?” I raise my eyebrows. Our bed, I love the sound of that.
“And why can’t I wear pajamas?” I slide them off and sit on the side of the bed. He runs his hand from my bottom up my back to my neck and grabs my nape and pulls my head back by my hair. “Because I don’t fuck in pajamas,” he breathes into my neck as he bites it hard. I close my eyes as goose bumps spread over my flesh. I do so love dominant Mr. Stanton. Thank god he came to visit me tonight. I was beginning to worry.
I wake alone…again. However, I feel a lot more optimistic than I have since last Sunday. At least I now know that I didn’t imagine it; there was something there. His brief shutdown of his defenses last night allowed me to see a glimpse of the man I miss. He’s struggling with this as well, I think. I stroll out to flick on my coffee machine and find a note on the kitchen bench.
Slept in, early meeting.
Josh xx
I pick up the note and smile. Things are looking up and he gave me two kisses. Maybe there is hope after all, hope for what, though, I’m not sure. I spend all day daydreaming and reminiscing about the night before, hardly wiping the smile from my stupid face. At work in my break I do the unthinkable, something I haven’t allowed myself to ever do. I google cousin relationships. I am astounded to find page after page on the subject. Is this for real? For half an hour I sit transfixed to a website called Cousin Love with tears running down my face. Story after story of forbidden true love. People who have done nothing wrong but fall in love with the wrong person—actually, wrong choice of words, a person their family thinks is wrong. A lot of the stories mirror ours in that they hooked up and fell in love in their teens and tried to suppress it, only to have the feelings reappear in their twenties. Like me, most of the people haven’t come out to their families for fear of persecution. I read the list of famous people who married their cousins:
Queen Elizabeth and Prince Phillip
Albert Einstein Greta Scacchi Kevin Bacon
Rudi Giuliani
Jesse James
Franklin D Roosevelt
Thomas Jefferson
Charles Darwin
Jerry Lee Lewis
Johann Sebastian Bach
Hmm, some of the most brilliant minds of all time were attracted to their cousins. I’m not a freak. The Queen of England is married to her cousin. Who knew? I leave the website with a heavy heart but feeling somewhat comforted to know I am not alone and that others feel the same. I just wish I knew how Josh felt, I mean really felt. I know he adores me, but is it enough? Adore is not love. As much as I wish it were.
13
Natasha
“Just pull over up here,” Bridget says as she points to the curb. It’s 10:30 p.m. and Abbie and I are dropping her at Jeremy’s after our Italian dinner date. I’m exhausted. I yawn. The car is stopped, and she has the car door open talking to Abbie about making fresh pasta or something equally boring.
I rub my eyes. “Can you two hurry the hell up?” I frown as I lean my head onto the steering wheel. I’m frigging delirious. They finally finish up and we head down the street. Rihanna’s ‘Diamonds’ blares from my handbag.
“Shit, get that, Abbs,” I snap.
After rummaging through my bag, she answers. “Hi…. No, this is Abbie…um yeah, hang on a sec…. Who’s speaking, please?” She puts her hand over the phone.
“It’s Adrian.”
“Who?” I frown.
She hunches her shoulders. “Adrian.”
“Oh shit. Josh’s Adrian.” I quickly pull over the car. I snatch the phone.
“Hi, this is Natasha.” Damn, I sound like a schoolteacher.
“Hi, Natasha, sorry to bother you. It’s Adrian. Are you busy?”
I frown, that’s a strange question.
“It’s just…I was wondering if you could help me out?”
“Sure, Adrian. Is everything OK?”
“Not really, it’s Josh.”
My heart jumps in my chest. “What’s wrong?” I snap.
“No, it’s OK. We have just had a really long lunch and we are in a bar in the Rocks.” I smile as I imagine Josh drunk in a sleazy bar. “Anyway, that guy that Josh had that fight with the other night…um, that friend of yours.”
“Todd,” I snap.
“Yes, he turned up about forty minutes ago.”
“Right,” I wince.
“They are just glaring at each other at this stage.”
“Who is Josh with?”
“His two exec friends from IBM.” My mind is going a million miles per minute. Surely this can’t be good. “Um, anyway Josh just ordered all of the bodyguards out of the pub and asked me to go home.”
My eyes bulge. “Is that abnormal?”
“Well, he’s never done anything like this before.” Holy fuck, they’re going to kill each other.