Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 83602 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 418(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83602 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 418(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
I couldn’t help it. I wrapped my arms around him and breathed in the smell of his skin and cologne, wanting to burn it into memory.
He’d be gone tomorrow.
I might never see him again.
His breathing quickened then he let go of me.
I looked around at his bags and realized there was still a lot left to pack. “Do you need me to help you?”
“Please don’t take this the wrong way.”
I chewed my bottom lip. “Okay.”
“What I need is for you to go back to your room. It’s not because I don’t want to spend time with you. It’s because I don’t trust myself.”
“I want to stay here with you.”
“With the way I’m feeling right now, I just can’t be in the same room with you. I was a wreck when you went out on that date with flower boy. And that was before I found out I was leaving. Then, you come in here looking so fucking beautiful in that dress. I only have so much control.”
“I don’t care if something happens. I want it to.”
He looked down at the ground and shook his head. “We can’t let it.” Elec was quiet then looked me in the eyes. “The other day, you knew I had a girl over. Nothing happened. She tried, but I couldn’t get it up. It didn’t feel right, and it’s been that way for a long time—ever since that night in your room. You don’t think I’ve fantasized about doing what you asked me to, knowing I’d be the first you would get to experience that with? Do you have any idea what even hearing the words ‘show me how you fuck’ coming out of your sweet little mouth did to me? It ruined me.”
“I’d rather have one night with you than nothing at all.”
“You don’t mean that. If I thought you were the type of girl who did, we wouldn’t be talking right now.” He placed both hands on my shoulders, causing a shiver to run through me. “And for the record, I like that you’re not that type of girl.” He let out a deep breath that I felt on my chest. “Even if you say you could handle it…I’m not sure I could.”
We stayed silent for several seconds with our eyes locked before I got up. “Okay. I’ll leave.” My eyes began to water because this felt like the end.
He could see I was starting to cry. “Please, don’t cry.”
“I’m sorry. I can’t help it. I’m just gonna miss you.”
He hugged me one last time and buried his nose in my hair. He spoke into my ear. “I’m gonna miss you, too.” Our hearts were both beating fast against each other before he stepped back. “My flight doesn’t leave until 10. Maybe we can get breakfast.”
I walked back to my room in disbelief over how fast things could change in life. Little did I know, things with Elec would change again in the blink of an eye or should I say, in the middle of the night.
CHAPTER 10
Crushed couldn’t begin to describe what it felt like having to go back to my room, knowing he wanted me in the same way I wanted him but that we would never stand a chance. It felt empty here already, and he wasn’t even gone yet.
It bothered me that he’d have to return home to that situation with his mother. Not that his interactions with Randy had been anything less than awful, but at least here, I could have been there to support him. He really hadn’t won in the parent department no matter how you cut it.
He’d only just begun to open up to me. I knew that if he stayed, we would have grown closer. I tried to convince myself that this was for the best because he was leaving in the summer anyway. But despite my self-talk, the ache in my chest just wouldn’t go away.
I couldn’t help envying all of those girls at school who’d gotten the chance to experience being with him on a physical level. Even though I connected with him in a different and better way, there was still a deep longing for what I’d missed.
My mother came in briefly to check on me and to ask if I’d heard the news about Elec leaving.
“You two seemed to be getting along better. It’s a shame he wants to go back now that his mother’s home. He could have certainly stayed until the school year ended.”
Since my mother knew nothing about the real reason Pilar was back home, I mainly nodded my head as she spoke. I tried my best to mask the tears that up until then had been falling pretty consistently. She kissed me goodnight, and I stayed clutching the stuffed Snoopy doll that had been my right-hand man since I was three.