Total pages in book: 94
Estimated words: 91361 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 457(@200wpm)___ 365(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91361 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 457(@200wpm)___ 365(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
Ash, darn it, if it’s you, please make sure you look like your cute self and not when you died.
I turned around slowly—-
And froze.
Kellion.
He stood a few feet away from me, his beautiful face pale beneath his tan, and breathing hard, like he had run all the way to get here.
It didn’t make sense. He shouldn’t have known I was here, shouldn’t have been able to read my mind. He couldn’t have, not when he didn’t love me—-
The thought had me asking brokenly, “How? How did you...know?”
Kellion whitened even more at my words. “How...could you think I wouldn’t?” He shook his head, as if unable to believe I had even asked the question. “Aria, I love you—-”
My blood turned cold at his words, and I shook my head wildly. “No. You...don’t.”
“Yes,” Kellion said savagely. “I do. I’ve always loved you. I was just too blind—-”
“NO!” I screamed the word, covering my ears with my hands.
But suddenly he was kneeling in front of me, tearing my hands from my ears. “Listen to me.” His voice was ravaged with pain, but I didn’t care. I was hurting, too.
I shook my head. “No.”
“Aria—-”
“NO!” I forced myself to look at him, and God, God, God, how it hurt to look at his eyes and know that all this time, he had never seen me. I had always seen him, and he had always seen someone else.
“I know...you can’t...” I struggled to get past the sobs so I could tell him why I knew, why he shouldn’t feel guilty. “When you were afraid...to be the President – I couldn’t stop making you...afraid. Remember?”
“You did,” Kellion said hoarsely. “You can ask Helios. That night, that was why I was so late in coming back. When you told me you thought I’d be a great President, I found the strength—-”
“Liar,” I sobbed out. I hated, hated, hated the way he kept making me feel like there was something to hope for, that there was something to cling to. “If you loved...me, why couldn’t you say the words?”
“I wanted to.” Kellion cupped my face with shaking hands, wiping the tears away with his thumbs. “I won’t lie to you, terataki. I didn’t know at first. You were my rebound—-”
I flinched.
Kellion looked sick. “I didn’t know it at first. I only knew I loved you when you learned about Jack from the phone call and you were in so much pain. That time, I knew I would do anything for you, that I loved you so much. I didn’t say the words then because I didn’t want to risk hurting you again and make you think I was saying them because I was guilty.”
His voice became fierce, and his eyes captured mine, preventing me from looking away as he said, “I love you. I planned to tell you tonight, when I was the President—-”
“No, no...stop it!”
But still he continued, shattering me over and over, “I wanted to say it in front of the entire club, so you’d know how damn proud I was to have you—-”
“STOP IT!”
His voice broke, and Kellion whispered, “I just wanted it to be special, baby. That’s all.”
I closed my eyes, unable to bear looking at him any longer. If I did, I would really start to believe, and for both our sakes, I couldn’t let it happen. “You already made...me...okay. So please...just be happy...with Jack.”
“I love you.”
God. His insistence was driving me crazy with pain and longing, and with a sob, I tore free from his hold and struggled to my feet.
“Aria, I love you—-”
God, this biker. He was so damn stubborn. So damn nice.
“You don’t love...me.”
“Yes, I do.” Again, he reached for me, and again I stepped away, out of his hold.
“You don’t love...me.” I closed my eyes. Did my best to close my heart. Because the next words I had to say would kill us both. When I opened my eyes, Kellion nearly took a step back, and I knew I had succeeded. My face was cold. Expressionless.
“Kellion—-”
He started to shake his head. “Whatever you have to fucking say—-”
A smart man, my biker.
It was just one of the many reasons why I fell for him, one of the many reasons why I needed to do this. It was the only way to make him leave and forget about me.
“When I came...here...when I saw...Ashton’s grave...I realized...I didn’t love you...either.”
Kellion whitened. “What the fuck are you saying, baby?”
The endearment nearly broke me, but I held on to my blank mask. Happy, happy, I reminded myself hysterically. This was all so Kellion would be happy.
And so I forced more words out, each word a knife to stab his heart. “I think I...needed you. Not...love. Just...need.”
Kellion shook his head. “Stop saying shit—-”
“I don’t think...I ever...saw you...at all.”
Kellion jerked. When his gaze met mine, I nearly cried out at the pain in his eyes. Pain I alone had inflicted. I wanted to run to him, but I made myself stay still, to keep my blank mask on my face because it was the only way to force Kellion to let me go.