Total pages in book: 65
Estimated words: 60933 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 305(@200wpm)___ 244(@250wpm)___ 203(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 60933 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 305(@200wpm)___ 244(@250wpm)___ 203(@300wpm)
“Oh” was all I could manage as a response.
“She’s got the cancer, and it ain’t good,” Nonna told me. I could see the pain in her eyes, and that hurt me more than anything. I knew how much my nonna loved my mother, even if it was one-sided. My mother only loved herself.
“I’m sorry, Nonna,” I said.
She nodded. “I reckon I didn’t expect much more of a reaction from you, but that isn’t what this is about.”
I waited for her to continue without saying anything. Part of me felt guilty for not reacting with more emotion but then if anyone would understand my relationship with my mother it was Nonna.
“Chance is still a kid himself. You know that. He stayed with your momma for Bella’s sake when his dad left. He’s been protecting Bella and taking care of her. She ain’t any better a momma to that little girl than she was to you. Except you didn’t have a big brother to step in and save you.”
“She also has her dad. He adores Chance. I can’t imagine Rick feels any differently about Bella.” I could hear the bitterness in my tone. After all these years, I still disliked the man. He’d never wanted me in their home. He treated me as if I were an outsider to their little family. Chance never talked about his father to me. He knew how I felt about him. Chance wasn’t a kid anymore. He was old enough to drink, but I didn’t point that out to Nonna.
“Rick ran off with some young woman two years ago, Willa. Chance hasn’t heard from him but once since then. He was living in some town in Oklahoma, but Chance doesn’t know the address, and he don’t have a good number for him no more.”
I’d had no idea, but then Chance would never tell me things like this. I felt guilty for making my brother feel like he couldn’t share this with me. My dislike of the man shouldn’t override my brother’s problems. He should be able to talk to me. I was his big sister. It was my job to be there for him no matter what. Even if we had grown up with very different situations.
“I didn’t know,” I said simply.
Nonna gave me a sharp look. “Because your brother said it wasn’t your problem and not to bother you with it.”
My brother sounded a lot more grown-up than Nonna was giving him credit for but he also trying to take on too much. I was going to tell him just that as soon as I spoke with him.
“Is that why he didn’t tell me about Mother?” I asked, wanting this to make some sort of sense. I had never acted as if his problems weren’t important. I’d always tried to be there for him. He had just never seemed to truly need me. He had the family I was born into that hadn’t wanted me. They had wanted him, or at least I had thought they had.
She shook her head. “No. I told her and him both that I’d tell you.”
“So, what’s the deal? Is she going to get chemotherapy? Is she asking you to take Bella in?” I didn’t think my nonna was still able to raise kids. She needed to enjoy her life and retirement. Gunner had given her enough money when he sold the Lawton estate that she would never need to work again. Her world revolved around playing bingo at the church on Friday nights, walking three miles every day with her friends, and working at the soup kitchen and the ladies’ auxiliary at her church to supply clothing for those in need. This was not the time in her life she needed a six-year-old girl to raise.
“Chemotherapy isn’t an option. It’s everywhere, Willa. She’s beyond saving. She skipped several years of doctor checkups, and it’s spread all through her. They say she has about six months if she’s lucky. Three if she’s not.”
Nonna’s words slowly sank in as I sat there staring down at my slice of pie. There was no real emotion that I understood running through me at the moment. I hadn’t seen my mother since she’d stood in this house and told me she was pregnant and I was useless. We hadn’t spoken since that day either. I had hated her for so long for not loving me, until one day the hate changed to indifference. I rarely thought of her anymore.
Tears didn’t sting my eyes at the news she was going to die. My chest didn’t ache, and there were no regrets. Shouldn’t I feel at least one of those things? Anything? Was I truly that cold and switched off from the woman who gave birth to me?
“She’s not got much in her will to leave to anyone, but unless Rick shows back up, she is leaving Bella in Chance’s custody. She knows I’m too old to raise another kid, and I barely know the child. I’ve only gotten to know Chance since he turned sixteen and made it a point to come see me. His visits are something I look forward to. I hate I missed his earlier years, but your mother is to blame for that. She did give me you, though, and you are my greatest joy.”