Total pages in book: 401
Estimated words: 390373 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1952(@200wpm)___ 1561(@250wpm)___ 1301(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 390373 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1952(@200wpm)___ 1561(@250wpm)___ 1301(@300wpm)
“It appears you don’t,” he said, holding my hand. “I know you probably have many questions.”
I let out a short laugh. “Yeah. Starting with what in all the realms was I doing?” A jolt ran through me. “Oh, gods, please tell me I didn’t embarrass myself by, like, running around nude.”
Casteel blinked. “What?”
“Or try to eat Kieran again,” I continued. “Oh, my gods.” My gaze darted to the door. “Is that why he’s not here? Did I try to eat him?”
“No,” he said, shaking his head. “You didn’t try to bite him.”
“Thank gods.” My shoulders relaxed. “That’s a relief.” My gaze slid back to his. “I think,” I added in a whisper, swallowing hard. “Why do I suddenly have a feeling that trying to eat—”
“Bite.”
“—Kieran would’ve been better than what I actually did?”
“No. No.” Keeping one hand wrapped around mine, he cupped my chin. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Poppy. In reality, you once again proved how fucking strong you are.” His eyes closed briefly. “I need you to understand that you did nothing wrong.”
My lips parted as I stared back at him. “Tell me what happened.”
He ignored that and instead asked, “Do you?” he insisted. “Do you understand that?”
My inhale was shallow as tiny knots of dread formed in my stomach. “I do.”
His fingers splayed across my cheek. “When you woke up, it wasn’t just you who came back.”
My gaze lowered as my shoulders stiffened. “Something—someone came back with me?” My eyes rose to his as the knots tightened. “Who?”
“Kolis.”
My heart felt like it stuttered. For a moment, all I could hear was it pounding in my ears and that voice. That achingly cold and dry whisper.
I’ve always been with you.
“Tell me,” I heard myself say. “Tell me everything.”
And Casteel did.
CHAPTER 12
POPPY
I sat completely still, the robe forgotten in my lap, as he explained the state I’d been in and how I’d alternated between remembering who I was and not when I woke up the first time. Or was that technically the second time? Either way, I now understood why he’d been so concerned about me having a headache.
I listened as he told me how Kolis could connect and communicate with those he was responsible for creating, basically possessing them as he’d done with me—something he could do, even while entombed.
I even remained calm when he explained how Kolis likely forged the connection with me. I didn’t throw up when I learned that he’d probably had my blood, and I’d had his. Though I really wanted to. Obviously, I had no memory of randomly ingesting blood, but I knew that could’ve happened without my knowledge—or my consent—at any point.
Casteel didn’t break eye contact as he explained how I’d seemed to know something was wrong and refused to feed until he convinced me. His thumb didn’t falter in its slow, soothing slide across my cheek as he said I’d fought against Kolis’s influence and had enough self-awareness to stop myself from hurting him, Reaver, and Kieran.
“You, more than any of us, made sure he couldn’t do any damage,” Casteel said, his voice low. He’d been speaking quietly throughout all of this. “You understand?”
I nodded. “I understand.” And I really did, but it all felt like I was listening to a story that didn’t involve me, except for the on-and-off feeling of déjà vu. I wet my lower lip. “What else?”
Casteel had fallen silent, watching me as if he were trying to figure out what was going on inside my mind. “You’re starting to worry me.” His gaze searched mine. “You’re too quiet.”
I was.
I hadn’t said a thing before I told him I understood. “I’m listening.” I forced myself to swallow. Then, I made myself take a breath.
“But are you processing what you’re hearing?” His thumb stilled. “Honestly?”
I nodded.
I was processing.
And I was remaining calm.
“What else?” I forced myself to ask because I knew there was more. Every part of my being said there was.
“He couldn’t get complete control of you.” His jaw flexed. “And he knew that.”
“How?” I asked, and I didn’t need to force myself to do it. “How do you know that?”
A shadow of something flickered across his striking features too quickly for me to catch. “He managed to…push forward a few times. Summon the eather through you and talk through you.”
What he said then fell like daggers against my skin. I jerked back, causing his palm to slip from my cheek. That wasn’t a forced reaction. “Continue.”
Casteel’s hand tightened around mine. “He didn’t try to get you to feed when he could have. That’s how I knew he couldn’t get complete control of you. He needed to keep you weakened.”
So weak.
The sudden image of Duke Teerman, of all people, flashed in my mind.
My breath snagged as I pushed to my feet, pulling on Casteel’s hand as the robe fell to the floor. He hesitated before letting go. I backed up, knowing he was concerned. I felt it heavy against my skin. I wanted to ease his worry, but…