Total pages in book: 401
Estimated words: 390373 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1952(@200wpm)___ 1561(@250wpm)___ 1301(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 390373 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1952(@200wpm)___ 1561(@250wpm)___ 1301(@300wpm)
“You know what I’m not capable of?” I snapped, my anger resurfacing. “Destroying an entire realm. But you know what can?” I stared pointedly at him, wanting him to know I knew exactly what he was. “You.”
Lirian didn’t respond for some moments, the silence stretching my nerves as he held my gaze. “Vikter?”
He sighed and turned to me. “It’s time for me to leave.”
“No,” I said, not ready to say goodbye…and partly because I worried that I might prove his comments about my temper true if I were left alone with Lirian. “You can stay.”
“I can’t,” Vikter said quietly and approached.
“Yes. You can.” I took a step back, not wanting him to get close enough to say goodbye. “I need you here.”
The smile that crinkled the corners of his eyes was genuine but also sad, forcing me to take another step back. “You don’t need me anymore, Poppy.”
What felt like a clawed hand reaching into my chest and shredding my heart stole my breath. The back of my throat burned. “That’s not true.”
He reclaimed the step I took. “I’ve done all I can to prepare you—”
“I’m not talking about that!” My breath snagged again as the burn made it to my eyes.
“I know.” He reached out and cupped my cheek.
A knot fisted in the pit of my stomach as my hands clenched at my sides. In the back of my mind, I recognized the futility of my protests. Anxiety surged, making it feel like my skin was trying to separate itself from my body. I attempted to keep the desperate words to myself but couldn’t. “Please don’t leave me again,” I whispered, not caring that anyone was watching. “Please.”
“Poppy.” Vikter’s voice trembled as he dropped his forehead to mine. “I have never left you. You have to realize that now.”
“It’s not the same.”
“That doesn’t change the facts, though. It does not make the truth a lie.”
Feeling tears welling up, I wanted to throw myself on the floor like a small child and rage. Instead, I closed my eyes and focused on taking a deep breath and letting go for a moment. “Will I see you again?”
“I cannot answer that.”
I knew who could. Pulling back, I started to turn to Lirian, but Vikter stopped me. “He cannot tell you either.”
“He has to know,” I argued.
“I didn’t say he didn’t. Only that he cannot say.”
“You mean he will not.”
“Stop,” he chided softly, his voice hardening slightly. “I know this is hard. It’s hard for me, too. But you’ve faced harder. So have I. And you’re stronger than this.”
Out of everything he’d said, this only made me want to cry harder. Because I had so many memories of Vikter basically telling me to deal with whatever I didn’t want to face at the moment. He’d always let me have my moment and then made sure I moved on. Like when I said goodbye to Ian when he first left for Carsodonia. And then again when I missed him. The first time Priestess Analia slapped me. When I was sad about not being allowed to attend a function that Tawny was allowed to go to. After the first time I assisted with a cursed—someone infected by a Craven—and ended their suffering. After my lessons with the Duke. It may sound harsh, but it wasn’t. He allowed me to express what I felt, and then he made sure I survived it.
Like he was doing now.
“You good?” he asked quietly.
I wasn’t, but I nodded.
“Good.” He extended his hand. “Come here.”
Lirian sighed. “We don’t have all the time in the realm.”
“You have time for this,” he said, not taking his eyes off mine.
Taking Vikter’s hand, he pulled me in for a warm, tight hug. I embraced him harder, just breathing in his scent. His head lowered, and when he spoke, his voice was barely above a whisper. “I was wrong about Leopold.”
Confusion flooded me. I started to pull back, but he held on, keeping me there.
“He wasn’t who I thought he was,” he said quickly and quietly, and something about that tugged at a distant memory. “I never actually saw him until—” He cut himself off as he glanced at Lirian, whose gaze I could feel practically drilling into us. “Ask Tawny. She’ll explain. Understand?”
I nodded, even though I really didn’t.
Vikter held me as the seconds ticked by, and I thought I should probably let go of him, but I couldn’t. I had a feeling it would be a long time before I could be in his presence again.
If ever.
But Vikter hadn’t wasted all those years with me. I dealt with it—saying goodbye. Letting out a long, slow breath, I stitched myself together and lowered my arms.
“That’s my girl,” Vikter murmured, pressing a kiss to the crown of my head.
Stepping back, he gave me a smile that creased the corners of his eyes. He didn’t say goodbye. I didn’t want him to. And I didn’t look away as he turned and left the chamber through an arched doorway I hadn’t even noticed until then. Only once he was gone did I close my eyes. Gods, I was so grateful to have a new last memory of him. I inhaled deeply, willing the tears back.