Total pages in book: 401
Estimated words: 390373 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1952(@200wpm)___ 1561(@250wpm)___ 1301(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 390373 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1952(@200wpm)___ 1561(@250wpm)___ 1301(@300wpm)
I thought his acquiescence would bring me some relief, but it didn’t. Tension had entrenched itself into my very core and didn’t ease, even when he tugged me to his chest. The taste of his lips and the feel of him when he rolled me beneath him, didn’t extinguish the tension slowly growing into dread. Because even though he’d nodded, I saw the truth in his eyes and the set of his features.
And, gods, as I clung to him, kissing him just as fiercely as he did me, I loved him for it. Loved him so much. But I also feared what I saw.
Casteel hadn’t acquiesced, and if he tried to prevent me from getting to Kolis or attempted to do so himself, it would end in disaster.
In death and destruction.
I’ve always been with you.
I woke with a start, my heart thumping as my gaze fixed on the darkened canopy overhead.
The nightmare wasn’t like those I had of Lockswood, where it felt like I was reliving the night. This clung to me in fragments—flashes of gold bars, a cold touch, and his voice.
Kolis’s.
A shiver coursed through me. Dragging in a shaky breath full of Casteel’s pine and lush spice scent, I turned my head to the right. He lay on his back, the arm closest to me tossed above him, and his head turned slightly away. The blanket was gathered around his hips, leaving his upper body bare. I watched his chest rise and fall in a slow, deep rhythm.
I wanted to get as close to him as possible, snuggle up to his side, but I knew it would wake him if I did. He needed his sleep. The fact that my nightmare hadn’t woken him was proof of that. So, I resisted planting myself against him.
My gaze lifted to his face. The striking planes and lines of his features were smooth. The only time he ever looked vulnerable—even somewhat mortal—was when he slept. That hadn’t changed, even though the Joining had changed him in ways we couldn’t have anticipated.
Letting out a slow, even breath, I lifted my gaze to the canopy above again. Had it even been a nightmare? Was it a memory?
My heart turned over heavily. Was that what it was? Broken pieces of a memory and not a nightmare?
Stop it, I ordered myself. Immediately, something worse invaded my thoughts.
The message Valyn had shared with me.
Refuse and serve beneath him.
The disgust I’d felt rolling off Casteel’s father now swirled inside me, making my skin feel slick and oily. I wanted to chalk it up to a crude threat meant to unsettle me, but it was so similar to what Lady Hawley had taunted. And here I’d thought what she said was the worst. To serve at Kolis’s feet.
I would do neither.
I would do what was required.
Kill him.
And soon.
Thank the gods Valyn hadn’t said that in front of Cas. If he had, the conversation we’d had before going to sleep never would’ve happened. No one would have to worry about me being the one to shadowstep to Pensdurth.
Casteel would’ve done it.
I couldn’t think of that as I rolled onto my side, willing myself to return to sleep.
It did not come.
Because I also couldn’t stop myself from thinking about what Isbeth knew when she plotted Kolis’s return—when she ensured that Sotoria would be born again. What if she knew everything? What Kolis had done to Sotoria. What he’d likely want from me.
My skin warmed uncomfortably as my stomach turned.
I didn’t know why I was shocked and repulsed. After all, she’d known what had been in The Star. She knew exactly what she was doing when she took possession of the Star diamond and what would happen when she freed…Sotoria’s soul. Sure, she might have been given the brainwashed Callum version of events, but still. Her actions were already abhorrent.
How? How could anyone do that to a stranger, let alone their child?
The silence of the chamber gave no reply, nor did the vadentia.
Frustrated, I closed my eyes. I tried to sleep for what felt like hours but was likely only minutes before my eyes reopened. Through the gap in the curtains, I saw that the sky beyond the window was dark and endless. With no moonlight, I could only make out the shape of the cliffside. I couldn’t look away. The pull was too great. And no longer entirely inexplicable, was it? I was drawn to the Cliffs because I’d first died—
Stop it.
I was her but not. That’s what I’d told Tawny. It’s what Kieran and Casteel had both said. So had Seraphena. Still, some tiny parts of me must belong to who she was, who I used to be, even though I felt nothing while holding The Star or while standing on the Cliffs.
A restless sort of nervous energy built inside me, making me want to squirm and kick my legs. I held myself still, like when I was a child and woke in the middle of the night convinced that the Craven had crawled out of my nightmares and into my bedchamber.