Total pages in book: 401
Estimated words: 390373 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1952(@200wpm)___ 1561(@250wpm)___ 1301(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 390373 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1952(@200wpm)___ 1561(@250wpm)___ 1301(@300wpm)
My heart kicked against my ribs. “Your—”
“You can have my dick later,” Cas continued. “Patience is a virtue rewarded with unvirtuous acts.”
Oh, my gods.
As he started to step away from the bed, I snapped forward and grasped his arm.
“My Queen,” he purred. “I promise. You can have as much of my—”
“Shut up.” I moved onto my knees again.
Cas’s brows shot up.
“Your chest!” I practically shouted. “I’m talking about your chest. I know that scar is new, and I know whatever happened had to be something serious to leave a mark.” My hands trembling, I placed my fingers just under the jagged bit of skin, lifting my gaze to his. “What happened?”
He exhaled heavily. “It happened when you were in stasis, and I fell asleep,” he said after a moment. “A Rev got into the room—scaled the damn wall and came through the window. He had a blade carved from bone. Burned my skin on contact.”
I knew the scar on his chest wasn’t from a burn. Anger flared hotly in my chest, stirring the essence. “He stabbed—” I sucked in another breath. “He did stab you. I think I felt it or…or sensed it.” Frowning, I tried to understand what I was remembering. “I know I felt your pain, and I tried to wake up to help you, but I couldn’t—”
“You did, Poppy.” One of his hands dropped to my arm. “Even asleep, you lent me your power and healed me.”
It took me a moment to understand how that was possible. “The Joining.”
Cas nodded.
Thank the gods. A shudder of relief swept through me but was quickly followed by a cold punch of terror in response to how close he’d come to death.
“I’m okay,” he assured me, cupping my cheek with his other hand. He tilted my head back. “You didn’t lose me.”
I knew that, obviously. But, my gods, if we hadn’t gone through with the Joining, Cas wouldn’t be here. I would’ve lost him.
“You saved me, even at great cost to yourself.” He let out a heavy breath and slid his hand down my arm, leaving a wake of tingles behind. “Healing me put you further into stasis. If you hadn’t done that, you likely would’ve woken earlier. I’m sorry, Poppy.”
Why was he apologizing? “Cas—”
“I should’ve been prepared for something like that to happen. For fuck’s sake, we are in the heart of enemy territory. I shouldn’t have let my guard down.” His lashes lowered, and the sour taste of guilt filled my throat. “If I hadn’t, that damn Rev never would’ve gotten close to you. He wouldn’t have gotten the upper hand on me. But I wasn’t prepared, and none of us…” He shook his head. “Not Kieran, you, and especially not me, stopped to think about what the Joining really meant for you. How it could impact you.”
There was no mistaking the remorse and regret in his voice, but it wasn’t just his words that made my heart ache. It was how his hand trembled against my cheek. “What happened wasn’t your fault,” I told him. “And I’m fine.”
A muscle flexed along his jaw. “Do I need to remind you that you’ve been in stasis?”
“No.” I searched his features, wanting to smooth away the crease between his brows. “Do you regret the Joining?”
“No, of course not.” He tightened his hold on my wrist, not letting me pull farther away. “I don’t regret it. I could never regret that. But I can’t say I’m happy now that I realize what it means for you. Neither is Kieran—”
“What if it was the other way around?” I cut in. “What if your power saved me—healed me or Kieran?” I frowned. “And where is Kieran? I thought…” I thought he’d be here.
“He’s likely asleep.”
Surprise flickered through me. I would’ve thought he’d be sleeping in here, but I refocused on the issue at hand. “Would you be displeased to discover that doing so would temporarily weaken you?”
His frown said he thought that was the silliest question known to mortals and gods. “No. Absolutely not. I’d be fucking relieved.”
I lifted my brows, waiting for him to get it.
He stayed silent, so I guessed he didn’t.
I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. “I’m glad you feel that way because that’s exactly how I feel.”
“It’s—”
“Don’t say it’s different because it’s not.”
That muscle along his jaw flexed again. “You’re right.”
I wasn’t sure if he truly believed that. “This was the purpose of the Joining, was it not?”
“It was.” He lifted my hand from his chest and kissed the center of my palm. “But knowing that it harmed you—even temporarily—kills me, Poppy.”
“I know. I would feel the same way. But there is no cost I’m not willing to pay when it comes to you.”
A ragged sound left Cas. He bent at the waist, and then his mouth was on mine, lips soft, gentle, and hungry all at once. He kissed me, taking his time as if it were the first time he was doing so and was seeking to brand the feel of my lips upon him. It was a different sort of kiss—a wrecking kind full of so much. Love. Relief. The sweetness of it brought a wave of tears to my eyes. I felt a little dizzy when he pulled back.