Total pages in book: 115
Estimated words: 108650 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 543(@200wpm)___ 435(@250wpm)___ 362(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 108650 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 543(@200wpm)___ 435(@250wpm)___ 362(@300wpm)
“They know you’re going to help them.” Neil turned his head to finally make eye contact with me. “This isn’t a failure on your part.”
My lower lip wobbled, and tears sprung to my eyes. “Then, why do I feel like one?”
He moved to take me into his arms, but the elevator dinged. The moment we stepped out, though, he hugged me tight, right there in the hallway.
“Because you have a wonderful heart,” he whispered against my hair. “It’s why I treasure you.”
I didn’t want cry where anyone could walk up and see me, but I couldn’t help it. I buried my face against his shoulder and let go with the wracking sobs that had been threatening since we’d left Dr. Robinson’s office. “I just wanted…”
“You wanted to save your sister’s life.” He kissed the top of my head, his arms tightening around me.
“I wanted a reason for them to love me,” I admitted, not just to Neil, but to myself. I’d spent so much time pretending that I was doing this because it was right, because I cared about someone going through what Neil had gone through, because I didn’t want a teenage girl to die. All of that still applied, but the one thing that I’d denied, the one thing I’d promised myself and everyone around me that I had not felt, had been the number one reason I’d done it.
“I know,” he said, and it wasn’t an empty platitude. He actually had known. He just couldn’t have told me in a way that would have made me listen. Or wouldn’t have made me apocalyptically furious with him. “But can I tell you something?” When I didn’t answer, he went on, anyway. “That girl is going to love you whether or not you give her your kidney. Or thousands of dollars’ worth of clothes and electronics.”
I stepped back and wiped my eyes. “I wish I could be as certain as you.”
“I know teenagers. I raised one. And I know how quickly they can give their affection away.”
It took me a moment to remember what he was talking about. Emma was obviously the teenager. So, the adult was probably Neil’s first wife. He’d said the two had gotten close, but Elizabeth hadn’t been invited to Emma’s wedding, and Emma hadn’t told her about Olivia. Even as an adult, Emma hadn’t really forgiven Elizabeth for the divorce. That was definitely not the future I wanted with Molly. Or Susan, despite our rocky start.
“What time are we meeting them?” Neil asked, taking one arm off of me to check his watch.
I stepped back and wiped my eyes. “Seven. We were going to go to dinner, but I’m not sure they’ll be up to it, after the bad news.”
“You should get some rest, just to be safe.” Neil put his arm around my shoulders and guided me toward the suite.
He was right. I did need to get some rest. But my brain wouldn’t stop working. All I could think of was having to face Molly with both of us knowing that I’d failed her. While I lay in the bedroom, pretending to nap and mentally torturing myself, Neil was in the sitting room, his fingers tapping away on the laptop. I didn’t have to get up to find out what he was doing; he’d be researching everything he could about type two diabetes.
That was a mind trip, in itself. I knew it ran in our family, but I’d always assumed I would get it when I was in my fifties or sixties. Not my twenties. I felt like someone had dumped an extra thirty years of hassle on me, on top of all the other bad news.
With a huff of frustration, I kicked the blankets off and headed out to the sitting room, pulling one of Neil’s T-shirts on over my panties. I hated how hotels were never hot or cold, but both, randomly throughout the day. I’d been freezing in the bedroom, but now, it was almost unbearably warm outside of it.
Neil sat at the desk, clad in his boxers and a Rush T-shirt. God, I hated Rush. Every song was like a rock opera written by a Dungeons and Dragons group in their spare time. He looked up and gestured to his open laptop. “Good news. As long as it’s well-managed, type two diabetes doesn’t necessarily shorten your lifespan.”
“Great.” I rubbed my palms on my thighs. “Glad you’re on top of the paranoid Googling.”
He sighed in frustration. “If you aren’t going to think about this, then I will. Someone has to. You neglect your own needs constantly to worry about others.”
I opened my mouth to protest, and he cut me off.
“Don’t argue. Think of all the times you’ve forgotten to eat because you’ve been too busy with something at work, or something with Olivia. Think of all the times I’ve been in trouble, and you’ve worked yourself to death helping me while you’re internally falling to pieces. For god’s sake, I had to send El-Mudad to care for you when I was in the hospital.”