Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 78164 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 391(@200wpm)___ 313(@250wpm)___ 261(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 78164 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 391(@200wpm)___ 313(@250wpm)___ 261(@300wpm)
“I care.”
“Do you, though?”
“Of course,” he says, stroking my back. “I care about everything that affects you.”
“Then why won’t you tell me what’s going on?”
“Because I’m under an NDA at the moment. I’ll explain it all as soon as I can.” He bends down and kisses my forehead. “It’ll be worth it. Just hold on for a bit longer.”
I sigh, shoving away from him and sitting up.
“My mom called today,” he says. “She’s flying in tomorrow for my party and can’t wait to meet you.”
“I’m excited to meet her. Your sister’s family will be there, too, right?”
He nods, clearing his throat.
If this week hadn’t been so heavy at work, I might be looking forward to meeting Tate’s entire family tomorrow. Because, in theory, it’s a beautiful gesture. In reality, though, it’s terrifying.
What if they don’t like me? What if Carys is cold and unfriendly? I couldn’t blame her. What if his mother thinks I’m too old for her baby boy? That wouldn’t be a blamable offense, either.
And God knows what Tate’s told them. He seems to be telling the world that I’m Mrs. Tate Brewer. And every time that happens, every time he casts a joke out into our little bubble about our “marriage,” I react viscerally.
I know I’ve worked hard to get through the trauma of my last marriage, and I know I’m a stronger woman now, but the idea of leaping from one marriage into another so quickly freaks me out.
It’s not him that’s the problem. He’s as close to perfection as you can get.
I’m afraid to say this directly because I might lose him. He might finally believe I’m not worth the trouble.
But not saying anything doesn’t lend itself to healthy communication, which can then lead to an unhealthy relationship. So I’m royally screwed either way I go.
“Can I talk to you about something?” I ask.
“Sure.”
I sigh, not wanting to discuss this, but not seeing a way out, either.
“I had two people come up to me today and congratulate me on my engagement,” I say. “Because we are getting married, apparently.”
He smirks. “You better not be marrying anyone else.”
“That’s not the point.”
“What is it then?”
I hang my head. This is going to be just as tricky as I feared.
“First, we aren’t engaged,” I say. “So it makes it super awkward for me to try to backtrack and explain that I don’t know where they heard that, but it’s false.”
“Would it be easier just to get engaged?”
“No.”
He pretends to focus on the muted television across the room. I nearly laugh because his pout is the biggest I’ve ever seen. But I hold strong and manage not to crack. This sweet, precious man has put marriage on a pedestal, and I truly hate that I’m the one attempting to remove it from its perch. Because when marriage falls, it can shatter. And those sharp pieces cut you to the core.
“What would be easier is if you stopped telling people that,” I say. “Then I wouldn’t have to defend myself.”
“I didn’t realize that someone wanting to be with you was offensive.”
I groan. “Please don’t pick a fight with me.”
“I’m not,” he says. “But I feel like we’re just treading water pointlessly when we could be doing so many huge, fun things.”
“Maybe I’m fine with treading water for a bit. It’ll make my muscles stronger to carry the big things later.”
“You don’t need to be strong. I’ll carry everything for you.”
I run my hand down his arm, feeling the ripples of his muscles under my palm.
I’ve avoided having a frank version of this conversation for days. But each day, I feel more pressure to fold—to acquiesce to what Tate wants me to do. Namely, make him my whole personality.
That’s what it feels like, anyway.
Spending time with Tate Brewer is one of the most surreal experiences of my life. I wouldn’t trade it or him for anything or anyone. And I hope to spend the rest of my life at his side.
I’ve fallen hard for him. I’ve fallen in love with him. And I never thought I’d be on this side of love again. Not in the foreseeable future, anyway.
But he’s so charismatic, so capable, so overwhelming that it makes it almost impossible to keep my head above water.
I need a minute to breathe without the air scented with his cologne. And I need him to be okay with that. I need him to hear what I need right now.
Because to date, he’s been extremely good at that.
Please hear me, Tate. Please know this will be better for us.
“Since the Raptors are still on hold and I just sit in the office with nothing to do, I was thinking about taking a couple of days off next week,” I say.
“Sure. What do you want to do?”
I shrug. “I was thinking about spending time with Jamie. She mentioned that she’s struggling, and if I’m not going to be doing any work with the Raptors, I’d rather be doing something productive, if that makes sense.”