Total pages in book: 116
Estimated words: 114011 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 570(@200wpm)___ 456(@250wpm)___ 380(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 114011 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 570(@200wpm)___ 456(@250wpm)___ 380(@300wpm)
Her unfinished sentence rips through me, leaving a jagged edge behind it. I’m never going to recover from this.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, blinking back tears. “Be angry with me. Make this my fault. This has nothing to do with you, and you did nothing wrong.”
“This sure feels like I’ve done something wrong.”
Tears stream down her cheeks. I reach to brush them away, and she pulls farther back.
“Go,” she says again.
“Fine. But can I talk to Ethan at some point?”
Her features soften, but she shakes her head. “No. I’ll figure out something to tell him . . . like I always do . . . but he’s going to be . . . devastated. Please just go.”
I can’t argue with her because she’s protecting her son, and that’s one of the qualities about her that I love most.
“If you guys ever need anything . . .”
She turns away from me and huffs. “As if I’m ever going to ask a man for anything again. I’ve learned my lesson. Finally,” she whispers.
I did this to her. I didn’t just break her heart, but I also destroyed her dreams. All she wanted was a loving man and a family, and now, because of me, she’s given up hope.
And that’s the worst part of it all. I want to be her everything. And I hate that she’ll never ask me for anything ever again.
I head up the stairs and let myself out before I break down in tears in my dad’s truck.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
PALMER
I jump as a hand presses against my shoulder blade.
Lifting my head from the pillow, I spot Val standing next to my bed. I can barely see her through the fog in my eyes.
“Oh, Palmer,” she says, sitting beside me.
My face is crusty from the tears and snot, and my hair is a matted mess. “You couldn’t look like a disaster if you tried.”
Cole’s words ring through my mind like a ghost of perfection past.
“Are you okay?” Val asks.
“Do I look okay?”
She considers this. “No, you look like hell.”
“Thanks.”
She gets up and heads into the master bathroom. The faucet turns on, and various doors open and close. When she returns, she hands me a washrag and a hairbrush.
“Here,” she says, handing them to me.
I scramble to sit up. “Why? What’s it matter?”
“It doesn’t, really. But it’ll make you feel better.”
I don’t have the energy to argue with her. I barely have enough to wipe my face off and run the brush through my hair. But I eventually get the job done to her satisfaction.
She takes the cloth and the brush and returns them to the bathroom.
“Your call had me freaking out,” she says as she comes back into the room. “I broke every speed limit between here and Forest Falls.”
“I’m sorry.”
Val climbs across the bed and flops beside me. “Don’t be. That’s what best friends are for.”
I curl up next to her, saying a silent prayer of gratitude that I was able to get most of the story out over the phone so I don’t have to do it now.
“I think I’m cried out. I’ve cried all day, and I hate crying.”
She fiddles with my hair in much the same way I do Ethan’s. We lie quietly together on my bed until the shadows from the trees outside slide from the top of the wall to the middle.
“I think I love him,” I say sadly. “Loved him? Love him? Whatever.”
Val sucks in a deep breath. “I think he loves you too.”
I roll over to face her. “Are you out of your mind? Do you not see me here, caked in my own snot, because the man broke up with me?”
“You smell a little too.”
I hit her, making her laugh.
“This reaction—this one-eighty he just pulled—this is an emotional response to something, Palmer. He’s not a bad guy. He’s not evil.”
“Tell that to my heart.”
She frowns. “Think about it. He would never hurt you on purpose. You don’t believe that, do you?”
I consider her point. At any time before the last three hours, I would never have thought that Cole Beck would intentionally hurt me. But do I now? His words . . . his . . . torment.
“I’m sorry. Be angry with me. Make this my fault. This has nothing to do with you, and you did nothing wrong. This is not what I want, Palmer.”
I think about his face as he told me he was leaving and the pain I think I saw there. The hesitation when he arrived and the way he stood by my side as Jared called.
“No,” I say finally. “I don’t think he would. But he did. I’m hurting right now, and he knows that. He did that. On purpose.”
“And he’s hurting too. He has to be. You don’t flip a switch like that without a big prompt.” She turns onto her back and looks at the ceiling. “You didn’t fight or anything?”