Total pages in book: 99
Estimated words: 95520 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 478(@200wpm)___ 382(@250wpm)___ 318(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 95520 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 478(@200wpm)___ 382(@250wpm)___ 318(@300wpm)
“I get it. You’re all trying to be kind and don’t know what to say. Guess what?
“We have no words. Our hearts are broken, and we’re all lost as fuck. Excuse my language.
“My father wouldn’t have liked that, but ma’am. We’re not holding up and if one more person asks that question …” Erica shakes her head and gets up to run off.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”
“It’s okay. She’s right. We’re not okay. Thank you for being here,” I say and push up to get up and grab my crutches.
I do my best to hobble after Erica. It looks like she raced out the back door. I get to the sliding doors and see her sitting in the grass with Tara and Lauren. My heart breaks a little more when I spot Bentley sitting on the swing set, not that far from them. His head is hung, and his shoulders are slumped.
We haven’t had much alone time since arriving back home to support our moms. Being an only child, I’ve spent most of my time with my mother helping her make the arrangements. Mom, being Mom, has tried to be strong for everyone.
However, I’ve heard her breaking down at night. The sobs have been tearing me apart. This all hurts so bad.
“Hey, you need some help?” Garret asks as he appears.
Bentley lifts his head and turns in my direction. In the next breath, he’s on his feet, rushing to help me off mine. He lifts me into his arms as Garret takes my crutches.
Returning to the swing with me in his embrace, he then retakes his seat and places me on his lap. Tightening his hold around me, he buries his face in my neck and inhales deeply.
“I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you. I’ve just—”
“Bentley, don’t. I understand. You lost your father too. This isn’t just happening to me.”
“It shouldn’t be happening to anyone. This is so wrong. They were going to the golf course. Two friends going to have a good time and a few laughs.
“Two fathers wanting to unwind after a week of providing for their families. Two best friends.” He pauses and swallows hard. “Two best friends spending their last moments together.”
“This hurts so bad. I don’t know what to do,” I breathe.
“Me either, baby. Me either.”
***
“Hey, Mom. Can I help you with anything?” I ask as I enter the kitchen.
“Uh, no. I have everything covered. Fran needed a break, so she went upstairs. I’m just trying to get all this food put away.
“You get off that leg and have a seat. Hearing your voice will do a whole lot for me right now.”
I move over to take a seat. Everyone else went for a walk, not wanting to come back into the house. Bentley offered to give me a ride on his back, but I didn’t want to be a bother. The last thing we need is for him to get injured trying to take care of me. Besides, I thought they could all use some time as siblings.
Not that they don’t treat me as one, but this is different. I belong here with my mom. I can see the cracks she’s trying to glue together by sheer will.
“What do you want to talk about?”
“How’s school?”
“Oh, that’s not a great topic,” I snort.
“What? What’s going on, Zah?”
I sigh. “I’ll only tell you if you promise not to worry about it.”
“Now I’m worried about it. Talk to me, girl.”
I purse my lips. I hadn’t planned to tell her about this, but it’s happening, so I might as well. I’m going to need to make a decision.
“I’m losing my scholarship because of my injury. I’ve been in touch with Coach to see if she could pull some strings to at least cover the rest of the semester.
“I got a text this morning that there may be a way. However, next semester I’m on my own. I can apply for an academic scholarship, or I could come home and go somewhere else.” I shrug.
“What would you like to do?”
“I don’t know. Erica transferred to be there with me and Bent. He’s graduating and I’m losing my scholarship. Where does that leave her?”
“Erica will be fine. I’m asking you what you want to do. If you want to continue there and finish your degree, we’ll make it happen. Scholarship or not.”
“I can’t ask you for that.”
“I’m your mother. You’re not asking me for anything I’m not going to do for my baby. I know your father and I didn’t want you to leave, but we were proud of you. I know he would want you to do whatever your heart tells you.”
“Can I think about it. I kind of don’t know what’s up or down at the moment and I don’t think I should be making any decisions about anything until my head clears a bit.”