Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 86242 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 431(@200wpm)___ 345(@250wpm)___ 287(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86242 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 431(@200wpm)___ 345(@250wpm)___ 287(@300wpm)
His lips press together, and his jaw ticks. “Absolutely.”
All right, all right, fine. I’ll do whatever the fuck they tell me.
I don’t say that out loud though. I nod and shrug one shoulder. “Fine.”
He draws in a breath and releases it through his nostrils, then jerks his head toward the door.
Two uniformed men appear almost out of thin air. They nod and almost bow toward Vadka in a gesture of respect.
I forget how high-ranking he is. How powerful.
To me, he’s just… Vadka. The guy I’ve always looked up to. The only one I ever trusted to take care of my sister.
Fuck. My eyes are getting watery again.
One of the men takes a tiny device out of his pocket, scans Vadka’s eyes, and then shows him something to imprint his fingers. I do the same, following suit.
Then we’re in a steel cage that might look like an elevator shaft if it wasn’t so small and so tight. The walls around us are made of cement.
If I were claustrophobic, I’d be having a fucking heart attack right now.
We’re going down. Down.
My belly plunges to my toes, and suddenly I realize… maybe I am claustrophobic. I just never challenged it before.
I’ve never been in something that resembled a tomb encased in concrete, sinking down into the center of the earth.
Dramatic, maybe, but that’s what it fucking feels like.
Jesus.
I keep going, and then I realize I’m holding my breath. My vision’s a little dizzy.
Vadka is talking with the men, then he turns to me, and it seems he knows right away I’m not okay.
“Hey. Ruthie,” he says, his voice laced with concern, gentle, as if he might be coaxing a child to bed. “Are you okay?”
I open my mouth to tell him yes, to lie through my fear, but instead, I shake my head. I close my eyes and try to remember how to get air in my lungs.
“Breathe,” he says in my ear.
But it does nothing.
He might as well tell me to stop anything—stop my heart, stop existing—because I can’t breathe, and it scares the life out of me. I’m drowning, and there’s no water in sight.
And then… his forehead presses to mine.
He smells so fucking good. He’s so warm. His hand laces with mine, palm to palm, finger to finger, and right then, I forget how to breathe in a totally different way. I wish I could hit the pause button because I’ve never felt so safe in my life.
“Breathe with me, sweetheart,” he says quietly.
Maybe?
“Sorry,” he whispers. “I didn’t mean that.”
That breaks my heart a little. I don’t want him to take it back.
“No,” I whisper. “I liked that. I like it a lot.”
“Deep breath,” he says again, this time a little firmer. “Together. Breathe with me, Ruthie. Just like this.”
He takes a big, dramatic breath. His chest expands, and his shoulders pull back. I mimic him, and the dizzy feeling dulls just a little. It still feels like there’s a weight sitting on my chest, but his fingers are tight around mine, grounding.
“You can do this,” he murmurs. “Just like that. Good girl. Breathe.”
Maybe I should pretend I’m panicking more often…
“And exhale…”
We come to a stop, and the two uniformed men, still staring straight ahead, push a button. Vadka is still holding my hands. Whoever’s on the other side of the door is going to see us like this—forehead to forehead, palm to palm.
He doesn’t seem to care.
Of course he doesn’t.
He’s never changed anything about himself for anyone.
“You made it,” he says finally. “We’re here.”
“We need a minute,” he says to someone. His voice is steady but low, and I can hear the strain in it.
I blink, and it feels like waking up.
“Understood. Ruthie, are you okay?”
I take a breath. I let it out again and give Rafail a watery smile.
“Yeah. Turns out I have claustrophobia when I’m in a small enclosed space that resembles a tomb.”
“Understood,” he says again. My cheeks heat, and I half expect someone else to be in the room with us, but it looks like we’re in a small, enclosed entryway. Shoes and coats are stacked neatly along the wall. There’s a cabinet for hats. It’s quiet.
“Phone goes in here.” Rafail gestures to a safe. “You’ll have to clean up here. We’re doing our best to keep the place sanitized. It’s tight quarters.”
“Understood.” Everything feels surreal.
“Who else is here?” Vadka asks.
“Rodion and Ember. You. Luka. Everyone else is at the secondary house. The kids are with Polina’s mom.”
Polina’s mom is none other than Ekaterina Romanova. They’re safe.
“I wouldn’t know what we’d do with them in a place like this,” Rafail admits.
Vadka smiles, the warmth coming off him like the glow of a dying fire that still has heat.
“I need to see Luka,” Vadka says. “Can we see him without waking him up?”
“Of course,” Rafail replies. He leads us down the short corridor, tapping on a door. A few seconds later, we hear rustling on the other side.