Total pages in book: 60
Estimated words: 57310 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 287(@200wpm)___ 229(@250wpm)___ 191(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 57310 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 287(@200wpm)___ 229(@250wpm)___ 191(@300wpm)
HE’S FIVE HUNDRED YEARS OLD. SHE’S NOT IMPRESSED.
My name is Masie Kicklighter, and you’re never going to believe what our local vampire is up to this time. He honestly thinks he’ll get away with it, too.
Bless his undead heart.
Because this is still my town, and I’m not about to hand it over to a five-hundred-year-old vampire, just because he’s hotter than our Kicklighter whiskey.
Oh, and by the way, don’t drink the moonshine
*************FULL BOOK START HERE*************
PROLOGUE
To the editor of Supernatural Enquirer:
Hello. Me again. Masie Kicklighter.
The last time I wrote you, I was in prison for a murder I didn’t commit. (All Montgomery Stark’s wicked fault, of course. Ugh. Vampires!)
But this time, I am writing to confess to a murder.
Or pre-confess?
Whatever. Point is, this time I fully intend to kill that no good, lying POS Montgomery Stark—the world’s cruelest, most evil vampire.
Yeah, you heard me right.
I’m gonna kill, kill, kill that fangy man-trash! And I’m inviting you and your readers to join in your own murder-fun.
Now, before you start accusing me of sounding all crazy or like a woman scorned, I will admit that I’m spittin’ angry, but that’s not why I’m planning to end this beast of the night or why I’m urging you to do the same to your local evil vampire.
There is a new law about to pass, and it’ll give vampires “living” status. They want the same rights as humans!
Can you believe that crap? (Sorry, Mamma, I still can’t stop swearin’.)
Why any politician would vote for this pile of crusty turds boggles the mind, but I guess the lot in DC does love those donations. And vampires, well, they’re freakin’ loaded.
The only problem is that vampires have a plan, and spoiler alert: it don’t involve a peaceful coexistence with the livin’. They want to conquer us and make us feel all comfy-cozy and ooey-gooey warm inside until one day…blam! World domination.
Not that any of them bloodsuckers’ll say it to your face when you’re lying there naked in bed together. They’ll tell you how perrrty you look. They’ll say things like they love you, that they “want to spend eternity making your toes tingle,” and that they’ve “waited their entire existence for you.” That’s what them nasty ol’ vampires will tell you.
Well, wanna know what I say?
Liars!
Every single one of them!
Especially that Montgomery Stark, who betrayed me in the worst possible way.
So you tell your readers that we got us a few days to kill as many evil vampires as possible. Do not wait! They can’t be trusted!
Especially the one who broke my heart. And for that, Montgomery Stark will pay.
Yours Truly,
Masie Kicklighter
CHAPTER ONE
Leiper’s Fork, Tennessee. Five days earlier.
From the comfort of Stark’s antique-filled mansion, I rolled over in bed and beamed into his sultry, pale blue eyes, my chest heaving with postcoital exertion.
His long dark hair shined like glossy strands of midnight against the crisp white pillowcase. In the background, the glowing embers in the stone fireplace gave his bedroom a velvety feel that cocooned us in the moment.
Dang it, he’s so beautiful. I sighed with a contentment that plucked at my heartstrings. Had I known that sex could be (sigh…) so soul-consuming, leaving me raw and vulnerable in the best kind of way, I wouldn’t have waited my entire life to give it a whirl.
Though, on second thought, I doubted any of the men I’d come across during my twenty-seven years of life could butter my biscuits the way Stark did.
This vampire knew what he was doing—when to linger and when to pump those narrow hips. Even his breathing felt like a sexy slow dance: a deep guttural groan to let me know he was losing his mind with pleasure, followed by the softest breath on the crook of my neck to keep me in the moment, experiencing every touch, every beat of his heart (yes, heart!), and every spike of pleasure. In bed, he was in total control, but that control was for my pleasure.
“If you continue sighing like that,” Stark said in a smooth, deep voice, “I will be forced to make love to you again.”
A shamelessly goofy smile popped onto my swollen lips. “Welp, Stark, no one ever said I’d be easy to please.”
He propped himself up on one elbow and gazed down at me. “You are a demanding little vampire. This pleases me.”
Vampire. The word bounced around in my head like a pinball going nowhere. Was I really one of them now?
I still felt just as human as I had on my last day alive, when Stark’s brother, Lazlo, and Lazlo’s evil sidekick Fiona took my life in the parking lot behind the Flaming Rooster—my family’s bar, which I now owned. Next door to that was the distillery where we made award-winning Tennessee whiskey. It was a great life that I’d worked hard for, and that night, I’d thought I was done for.
Until I woke up.
Two days ago.
As a vampire.
“You look uneasy. What is the matter?” Stark asked.
“I know you said it’ll take some gettin’ used to, but shouldn’t I have super-hearing or super-smell or something vampiry?” My stomach grumbled.
“You have super-hunger. Shall I bring you the drink?”
The drink. Earlier, he’d offered me a concoction he called “moonshine” in a brown glass bottle, and I’d turned it down. He claimed it was an ancient herbal elixir with a small amount of human blood to ease my discomfort during the transformation.