Total pages in book: 159
Estimated words: 144433 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 722(@200wpm)___ 578(@250wpm)___ 481(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 144433 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 722(@200wpm)___ 578(@250wpm)___ 481(@300wpm)
"It's just..." She wrings her hands. "How do we feel about the fact that Rem and Leah are having a baby? We always said we'd have to wait until they secured their claim on the throne until we talked about having a family. But Leah's having a boy and she's due any day now. I feel like they're pretty secure. So maybe it's time for us to think about what that means. It's been three years. We're settled here. We're happy. Do we want to change anything?"
I study her worried expression. "My heart, I cannot tell if you are anxious over the fact that you want cubs or that you do not."
"That's just it. We need to be on the same page and we need to come to a decision. If you don't want kids, we need to discuss it sooner rather than later so we can set expectations. If you do, though, we need to talk about that, too."
I have a feeling that there's an answer she wishes to hear from me, but she won't tell me what it is. "And if we do not agree?"
"Then we figure it out." Her expression is sober. "But it's better to get it out in the open than to have one person resenting the other."
Taking her hand in mine, I rub my thumb over her knuckles. She's trembling. My poor Maeve has worked herself up over this conversation. "Just so we are clear, I would never resent you."
"You say that now."
"Because I mean it. If we have cubs, I will not resent you. If we do not have cubs because you do not wish to have them, I will not resent you then, either. I want you to be happy."
"I am happy!"
"I am, too! What is the problem?"
"I want to know how we feel about children! But I don't want to influence your answer."
I push a wet piece of hair back from her worried face. It's an excuse to touch her, but I don't care. Touching Maeve makes me feel better. "You are my wife, Maeve. You saved my life when I was stranded and without a credit to my name. You lied to others to protect me. You left the safety of Risda to join me in exile. You have been at my side when it felt like the entire universe was against me. If you are not allowed to influence me, who is?"
Maeve covers my hand with her other one and squeezes it tightly. "I love you, and I love that you're saying that, but kids are a big fucking deal and I don't want to force you one way or another. If you don't want them, I get it. I like how things are, too. I like that we can run to our bedroom in the middle of the afternoon and have a noli throwdown. I love that our time is ours. So if you don't want to change that, I understand."
It...sounds like she is answering for me? Has she already made up her mind? "I didn't say I don't want cubs, Maeve. I would like them, but only if you feel like it's right for you."
"Oh, good," my mate says, and then bursts into tears.
"Don't cry!" I pull her into my arms. "Maeve, please don't cry."
She buries her face against the fur of my chest. "I'm just emotional. I've been working myself up all afternoon. You're...sure?"
"That I want cubs?" I stroke her hair, soothing her. "Ever since we met Nassakth and his mate, I have wondered about our cubs and what they would be like. Children would be a lot of work, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't have any. Yes, things will change, but things always change...like Mrrrkuss and Sanassa wanting a home of their own on the edge of the property."
"Why would I mind? Of course they should have a home."
"It will be located right where you feed your birds."
She toys with my chest hair, petting and stroking it before curling the longer bits around her fingers again. "Then we move the bird feeder. I could live with a little less poop on the walkways."
Kef, me too. The stretch birds are very enthusiastic in their eating and their shitting. I would love for them to be farther away from the house. "Then it is settled. We will have cubs. I will tell my brother that we are starting a family soon and he will need to make arrangements accordingly."
"We don't have to do it right now," Maeve says, sitting up. "We can wait a few months. We can wait until next year. As long as we're in agreement I'm fine with whatever."