Total pages in book: 110
Estimated words: 106090 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 530(@200wpm)___ 424(@250wpm)___ 354(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 106090 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 530(@200wpm)___ 424(@250wpm)___ 354(@300wpm)
“Trajectory toward what?”
“Toward you finally getting laid,” Chloe supplies helpfully. “Which, let’s be honest, is long overdue.”
I grab a lipstick and pretend to be very focused on application. “My sex life is not up for discussion.”
“What sex life?” Chloe looks up, grinning. “Hails, I’ve known you for over two years. You haven’t dated anyone. Not a single person. Not even a bad Tinder match for entertainment purposes.”
“Maybe I’m selective.”
“Maybe you’re hiding.”
I watch my reflection in the mirror, keeping it carefully neutral even as something twists inside. Chloe doesn’t know how close to the mark she’s hit.
“Okay, that came out harsher than I meant,” she says quickly, sitting up. “I just mean . . . you never talk about your past. Like, at all. Not even embarrassing ex-boyfriend stories. Everyone has embarrassing ex-boyfriend stories.”
Sloane shoots her a look. “Chloe.”
“What? I’m just saying. We’re her friends. We tell her everything. But Hailey’s got this whole mysterious backstory thing going on, and now suddenly she’s dating Knox Bishop, and I feel like we’re missing important context.”
I cap the lipstick and turn around, leaning against the bathroom counter. They’re both watching me now, Sloane with gentle concern and Chloe with naked curiosity. I could deflect. I’m good at deflecting, have had years of practice building walls and changing subjects and steering conversations away from anything that matters. But these are my friends. Real friends, maybe the first ones I’ve had in a long time. And maybe I’m tired of carrying this alone.
“His name was Liam Calloway.”
Chloe goes very still. Sloane sets down her wine.
“We were together for three years, and I loved him so much it scared me sometimes.” I hear my own voice like it belongs to someone else, distant and too careful. “He was charming and brilliant and when he looked at me, I felt like I was the most interesting person in any room. Like nothing else existed except the two of us and whatever trouble we were about to get in to.”
“What happened?” Sloane asks softly.
I look at the ceiling, at the cracks in the old plaster, at anything that isn’t their faces. “I wanted more. He didn’t. I wanted a future, a real one, something solid and permanent. And he wanted to keep living like tomorrow was optional, like making plans meant giving something up.” My shoulders rise and fall. “So I walked away. Five years ago. Haven’t dated anyone since.”
No one says a word. I can practically hear them deciding how to respond.
“Five years,” Chloe repeats. “Hailey, that’s . . .”
“A long time to be alone. I know.” I meet their eyes. “But when you love someone that completely, when you pour yourself into another person and they can’t give you what you need . . . it takes a while to want to try again. You start to wonder if maybe the problem was you. If you wanted too much, asked for too much. If you’re just not built for the kind of love that actually lasts.”
Sloane crosses to me and pulls me into a hug that I didn’t realize I needed. She smells like expensive perfume and friendship, and I let myself lean into it for a moment before the vulnerability gets to be too much.
“Knox is different,” she says against my hair. “I can tell.”
“He is.” I pull back, surprised to find I’m smiling. “That’s what terrifies me.”
“Good terror or bad terror?” Chloe asks.
“I haven’t decided yet.” I check my reflection one more time, smoothing down a strand of hair that doesn’t need smoothing. “He looks at me like I’m something worth figuring out. Like I’m a puzzle he actually wants to solve, not just a problem to fix or a girl to chase until he gets bored. Nobody’s looked at me like that in a long time.”
“Not even Liam?”
I pause, really considering the question. “Liam looked at me like I was a partner in crime. Someone to run with, to scheme with, to burn bright with until we both flamed out.” I think about last night, Knox’s face when he handed me the velvet pouch, how nervous he’d seemed despite all that military composure. “Knox looks at me like he wants to stay.”
Chloe makes a sound that might be a squeal, quickly suppressed. “Okay, I take back every joke I made about your sex life. This is disgustingly romantic and I’m here for it.”
“Nothing’s happened yet.”
“Hailey.” Sloane gives me a knowing look. “I heard about what happened in Washington Square Park.”
Heat rises to my cheeks. “How did you—”
“Knox told Cole. Cole told me.” She smirks. “Apparently Knox showed up to work this morning looking like he hadn’t slept and couldn’t stop smiling. Cole said it was unsettling.”
“We just kissed.”
“You ‘just kissed’ for how long?”
I don’t answer.
“Hailey.” Chloe’s voice drops into her interrogation register. “Spill. Now. You’ve given us nothing for years. No dating stories, no hook-up confessions, nothing. You owe us this.”