Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 92067 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 460(@200wpm)___ 368(@250wpm)___ 307(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92067 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 460(@200wpm)___ 368(@250wpm)___ 307(@300wpm)
Growing up with a parent in a club wasn’t good for me. They called me a biker princess, but I didn’t feel like royalty. I was more of a bitch with a biker pedigree. Sure, Dad gave me everything I wanted. I even admit that I took advantage of that. Still, I didn’t feel welcome at the club. I wanted to make a place for myself to make Dad proud. I couldn’t earn it like Diego or Carlos, so I was going to make a place with Dom—whom I did love—and in my head cause this big alliance between the Savage Brothers and the Devil’s Blaze. It would be one that was tied by love and blood—my children—so that I did something for the club that Dad was proud of, while living my teenage dream life with the man I love.
It was the perfect plan until Dom began pulling away from me so that I knew whatever he felt for me wasn’t the same as I had in my heart for him. Then, I panicked, lost my mind, destroyed lives, searched for someone that would show me I was worthwhile, all while becoming a bitch in a way that the stink sunk down into my bones and lingered there so everyone who gets near me knows the truth.
So, I knew in my heart I wasn’t joining Iris and Lottie’s club. I was thinking more about moving out west so that my child wouldn’t be exposed to people who know her mother was a bitch of the worst variety. I want him or her to live free of my stink.
I’ll probably have my baby in my arms before I can make a complete break, but I’m going to do it. I’ve been working here as a waitress since I made the move. Dani and Nicole got me a room here at Diesel’s club. I clean and pitch in with cooking for the members in payment, so I don’t really have expenses. Friday, I’ll be moving into my own rental in town. I want to bring my baby into stability and make sure it’s healthy before pulling up stakes. I’m going to have a clear-cut plan this time. I have to. It’s not just me, and everything I do from here on out will be for my baby. I have to be solid, and I’m going to be. Case in point is the fact that I work overtime when asked. I do whatever is needed so that my boss truly likes me. Also, I’ve taken all my tips and wages and squirreled them away. I now have five grand stuck back. It’s not much, but it might get me to Colorado.
I’ve always wanted to see the Rocky Mountains. When we were younger, Dom used to talk about us traveling out that way on his bike. Me on the back of the bike of the man I loved, just the two of us traveling and starting our lives together. I needed that more than I wanted my next breath. As time went on, I realized Dom was just talking to be talking. It always happened after sex, too. Men say a lot after sex that can be utter bullshit. I’ve learned that lesson well and I’ll never forget it again. Incidentally, I also learned the lesson that sex—no matter how good—is not love. I thought I loved Dom, but today, I’m not sure I truly know what love is.
I used to be good at school. So, maybe I could learn, but I’m not sure how you go about researching this particular topic. Besides, the only thing I do know is that love is not for me—unless you count the love I have and will give my son or daughter. Anyway, I’m going to keep saving until I have the baby. I’m hoping the mechanic is able to fix my car. If not, Diesel and Crusher told me they’d help me pick out one that won’t die halfway to my destination. I didn’t tell them where I was planning on relocating, but Dani and Nicole know. I figured they spilled the beans—especially since Crusher is Dani’s old man.
With a sigh, I decide to call Lottie. The diner closed early today because of a water pipe break. I busied myself cleaning the place up and then walked to Walmart to get prices on travel cribs and such. I wanted to get my baby a regular crib, but decided against it. I figure until I move, a pack and play type thing would be best. I found one I like. It even has a thing you hang on the side to hold diapers. The crib part is also adjustable. I could use it until I get set up in Denver. I’m hoping I can give Lottie or Iris the money and have her pick it up for me tomorrow. I’ll feel better with at least one thing settled. Besides, it is a bright yellow with large green and brown circles decorating it. It will work for a boy or a girl.