Total pages in book: 72
Estimated words: 70630 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 353(@200wpm)___ 283(@250wpm)___ 235(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 70630 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 353(@200wpm)___ 283(@250wpm)___ 235(@300wpm)
He shrugged, his eyes glistening. Holy fuck, if he started to cry I was done for. I’d just open my heart right there and bleed all over his carpet. I didn’t want our relationship to be over, and I sure as hell didn’t want to have wrecked it because I’d been too scared to be honest. David had told me to tell him. I should have listened.
“I don’t know who I want to be,” he said. “I don’t even know who I am. Ever since I left the military, I’ve been lost.”
I felt lost right then. What could I say? How the fuck could I make this right? “You built your own business.”
“Yeah, but that’s just work. Work is something I know how to do. Talking to people, relating to people, that’s where I fuck up.”
Me too. Maybe that’s why this is so difficult. “You talked to me.”
“I guess I didn’t say the right things, though.” The bitterness in his voice tore through me.
“Connor—”
“You should take the job.”
No, don’t push me away. “I don’t think I want to.”
“It’s a great opportunity. I just wish you’d told me about it.” His voice sounded resigned, and that was worse than anger. This couldn’t be the end.
Please don’t let me have screwed up a chance at something meaningful. “Look, I just—”
“When will you get a chance like this again?”
“Never, and I don’t think I care.” Maybe this was just what I needed to help me see I wanted to be a writer more than a professor.
“Your aunt and uncle’s money won’t last forever.”
I bristled at that. As if I didn’t know my own financial situation. “No, it won’t, but maybe this is the right time for me to take a few risks.”
“This isn’t going to work out.”
Noooo. I screamed inside but I couldn’t make my voice work. Tell him why he’s wrong. Don’t let this end. I backed toward the door. If this was really it, then I had to get out of there before I had a breakdown. My chest was so tight I could barely suck in breath. When I hit the wall, I reached behind me and felt for the doorknob.
Connor watched me, but he didn’t move or say anything. The pain in his eyes tore at my heart. I’d done this to him and now I was sick with grief. My fingers found the knob and I turned to face the door. Open it. It’s time to go. I couldn’t make myself move.
Suddenly he was behind me. He grabbed my shoulders, spun me around, and shoved me back against the door. Our lips met and a storm ignited.
Sex with Connor had always been amazing, the best I’d ever had by far, but I’d sensed that there was power in him that he’d never fully unleashed when we were in bed. I’d wanted to know what it would be like if he let go. There was nothing gentle about the way he ground me against the door or his tight grip on my wrists. With any other man, I would have struggled, unable to bear being trapped, but even knowing how angry he was, I trusted him. Connor would never hurt me.
I worked my hips, rubbing against his erection, letting him know I wasn’t daunted by his roughness. We’d done this in my dreams, fucked wild and fast with no restraint, no attempt to second-guess each other. Hadn’t David always sworn there was no sex like angry sex? I’d never had a chance to test that theory until now. When Silas was angry, he’d iced over until there was no passion in him, not that he was very sensual at the best of times.
Connor drew my wrists above my head and pinned them with one hand. He glared at me as he drew in ragged breaths. Yep, he was still angry. Was this goodbye? If so, I wanted to make it the best goodbye I’d ever said.
Connor yanked my pants open, popping the button across the room. I didn’t give a damn. I needed him way more than I needed a pair of well-tailored pants. After a long, brutal kiss, he released my wrists, shoved my pants and boxers down, and spun me around to face the door.
“Brace yourself and don’t move,” he ordered. “I’ll be right back.”
I leaned against the door, cheek flat against the cool wood, trying to force air into my lungs. I assumed he was going to get a condom so he could fuck me right there, up against the door, and I wasn’t going to stop him. In fact, I was so hard I was afraid I’d come if he so much as touched me. The still sane part of my brain knew this was a terrible idea. I shouldn’t let him fuck me when he was angry and things were unsettled between us. But that part of my mind was powerless against the force of my desire. No way was I going to stop this.