Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 81018 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 405(@200wpm)___ 324(@250wpm)___ 270(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81018 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 405(@200wpm)___ 324(@250wpm)___ 270(@300wpm)
“I’d love both, thank you. How’s Mama Nicole liking it here?”
I snagged two of my favorite IPAs and some pre-sliced cheese before turning to find him sliding onto a stool on the opposite side of the island. “She’s loving it.” I grabbed the magnetic bottle opener off the refrigerator, popped the tops, then slid one across the counter to Trevor. “Her room is twice the size it was at home, and she has an enormous bathroom all to herself. What’s not to like?”
“That’s great, Ally. I’m so happy for you guys.”
“Thanks.” I grabbed the fancy-ass crackers Ryder liked, then sat myself next to my friend.
“And Kenny? How’s he taking the change?”
There went my stomach, twisting in a complicated knot of unease.
“Oh shit, you just got all tense and scowly. I’m sorry for bringing it up.”
After stuffing a cracker in my mouth, I waved away his concern. “No. It’s fine. Avoiding the topic won’t change anything.” I shrugged. “He went ballistic when he found out we were moving. I haven’t seen him since, and it’s been over two weeks.” That’s really all there was to tell. He’d flipped his shit, screamed at me for fucking up his life, and stormed out of the house.
Trevor squeezed my shoulder before reaching for a slice of cheese and a cracker. “So what’s the plan for the house?”
That was the question on my mind for the past few days. Do I sell? Keep it and continue to pay the mortgage? Charge Kenny rent he’d never pay?
“I’m not sure.”
“Have you thought about selling?”
Of course, I had. The money would go a long way toward paying down medical bills and college loans. But something in me balked every time I considered calling a realtor. Part of it was Kenny. Could I really kick him out on his ass? Did I have that right? Technically speaking, I suppose I did since it was my name on the deed, but where would he go? Every time I thought of it, I imagined him sleeping on the floor of some disgusting crack den.
“I have, but I’m not sure I’m there yet.”
“Because…”
Ugh, Trevor was a talker, not about his own emotional minefield, but he had a way of pulling conversation out of me like no one else. He never let me stew in silence, as was my preference. Still, I tried.
Shrugging, I shook my head. “Just not ready yet. It’s a big decision.”
“That you are having trouble making because…” He rolled his hand, encouraging me to continue. “Of Kenny?”
“Partly.”
“Because you are still afraid to trust that Ryder won’t kick you out on your stubborn ass even though he loves you and wants to live with you forever and have your babies?”
I paused with the beer halfway to my lips. “Babies? Really?”
He shrugged. “You guys fuck constantly. I thought maybe you were trying.”
That ridiculous statement had me snorting. “There’s something wrong with you.”
“Boo, there are many things wrong with me, but today we are dissecting your life. I’m right, aren’t I?”
I tipped my head back, sucking in a large mouthful of beer to keep from having to answer him right away.
“It’s okay, you know,” he said in a voice I’d imagine he typically reserved for frightened animals. “It’s okay to be scared.”
The urge to snap that I wasn’t scared and he should mind his own damn business was there, but I didn’t let it have me. Trevor wouldn’t care. He’d come back with a snippy comment about what a bitch I was, then continue to barrage me with invasive questions until I cracked. Other times I’d spoken to him about shit, it helped, so maybe I needed to pull my head out of my ass and start yapping.
“You’re not going to tell me that I’m stupid? That I should know Ryder loves me and would never kick me out. That even if we broke up, he’d help me get settled somewhere?”
“No. I mean, all that’s true, and you obviously know it, but I think it’s okay to be scared.”
“Really?” This conversation had veered in a way I’d never expected it to. “You don’t think I’m being stupid?”
“No.” He sipped from his beer, then took a dainty nibble of a cracker before speaking again. “It’s a huge thing, living with someone. And selling your house means potentially torching your safety net. I get it.”
A weight disappeared from my shoulders, one I didn’t realize had been sitting there since Ryder asked me to move in. I wasn’t an idiot. I was right to be cautious and take my time making huge life decisions. “Thanks, Trev.”
He pointed his cracker at me. “What would be stupid is letting that fear guide your decisions.”
And there it was. The bastard tricked me, and he knew it. His smug grin and the impish sparkle in his eyes proved it.
“Seriously?”
He nodded. “Yes, seriously. Fear can be protective and smart in some situations, but it can also be a giant hindrance. Feel it and acknowledge it, but do not let it make decisions for you. That’s how you miss out on really amazing shit.”