Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 81018 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 405(@200wpm)___ 324(@250wpm)___ 270(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81018 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 405(@200wpm)___ 324(@250wpm)___ 270(@300wpm)
He scoffed. “You’ve met him, right?”
That had me smiling despite the crushing weight of the past few days. “Oh yes, I’ve met every inch of that man.”
Kenny’s lips twitched, which was more than I thought I’d get from him. “It would be a loan, if it’s even possible for you to lend me the money. I will pay it back. No matter what. My mom said I’d get money from the sale of the house. I’ll pay you then. I promise.”
“I believe you. But I think we’re missing a big piece of the puzzle.”
His forehead wrinkled, and for the first time, I saw Alex in him. The serious way my boyfriend thought and analyzed situations brought out a similar expression as Kenny wore then.
“What do you mean?”
“Rehab.”
“Oh, yeah.” He nodded. “I know that… it’s necessary.”
Thank God he was on board. “Yes. I can give you the money to repay your debt. That’s the easy part.”
He grunted. “For you.”
“Yes.” It was what it was. I had money. There was no denying it. It had never been an issue for me and never would. “And I don’t give a shit about you paying me back.”
“I will, though.”
I shrugged. We could fight about that later. I understood if he felt the need to repay me, but I’d rather have him start with a clean slate and begin building himself a life worth living. Money from selling the house could do that for him. “We can iron out those details later, but I won’t give you a cent unless you promise to go to rehab. Go, stick it out, and work every day to stay sober.”
I’m sure looking that far out felt overwhelming to the point of impossible, but he sipped his water and nodded. “I promise. I’ve already looked into the state-funded facility. There’s a month-long wait list, but I should be able to get in eventually.”
A month was way too long. It left him too much time to backslide, and without professional help, he would. Plus, the state facility was underfunded, understaffed, and looked like a prison from the outside. “Fuck that. I know of a place. It’s a few hours outside of Boston, but it has a fantastic reputation.”
His eyes bugged. “Do you have an idea how much that place costs?” A laugh bubbled out of him. “I ate freezer-burned burritos Alex probably bought three years ago last week because I couldn’t afford anything else. I can’t afford a fancy discrete rehab designed for rich people to send their fuckups. No… oh, no. That’s not happening, Ryder,” he said when I gave him a look. “You are not paying for me to go to rehab.”
“Kenny…”
His eyes widened as he shook his head. “Ryder, I can’t. I can’t accept that from you. I already feel like shit on your shoe. I can’t…”
I reached out and grabbed his thin hand, stopping him from making a cuticle bleed. “Would you take it if Alex offered?”
“He’s my brother. It’s different.”
“I don’t want it to be. I know we haven’t had an easy journey so far. We don’t really know each other, but that can change. I’m not going anywhere, Ken. I love Alex, and I plan to be with him forever. This is it for me. He’s it for me. I want you to see me as a brother, and hopefully one day I will be, officially. Let me do this for you. For all of us.”
“Ryder…”
I grabbed his shoulders and spun him to face me. “Yes, shit is bad right now, Ken, and I understand you think it can’t get worse, but it can. If you keep going this way, you’ll be sleeping under the bridge and warming yourself by a burning barrel at night while sharing needles with God knows who.”
His face turned a little green, and I knew he had some uncomfortable medical tests in his future.
“But you have a choice right now. You can see this as day one and take the help that is offered. It’s time to move forward and leave all that shit behind. I know you can do it.”
He chuckled, but it was a morose sound. “You make it sound easy.”
“It will be hard as fuck, but I believe you can do hard shit, Ken.” He needed people in his corner as much as he needed the rehab.
His bleak eyes never made contact with mine, which made my heart ache, because I got the distinct impression he felt he didn’t deserve to meet my gaze. “I never have before. I’ve always taken the easy route. This scares me.”
“Well, maybe it’s time to prove to yourself that you’re worth the effort.”
“Am I?” he asked in the smallest voice full of insecurity.
I didn’t know Kenny well, and what I did see of him was largely negative. But I knew what it was like to lose the support of your family, to have them not believe in you and step away. It hurt worse than anything. Despite his mistakes, Kenny didn’t deserve that. No one did. So I captured his chin and forced him to look me straight in the eyes, then said, “Fuck yes, you are.”