Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 101662 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 508(@200wpm)___ 407(@250wpm)___ 339(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 101662 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 508(@200wpm)___ 407(@250wpm)___ 339(@300wpm)
I narrowed my eyes. “Is everything not normal?” I asked her, nervous that perhaps she’d overheard the argument between Henry and me earlier that morning. He shouted at me for showering before him, since he had a big meeting to get to. I didn’t yell back. I never did, and normally Henry wasn’t one to raise his voice when Ava was in the house, but his anxiety over his meeting was loud and clear that morning. I did my best to hide those moments from Ava.
“Of course, it’s not normal!” she said, tossing her hands up in defeat. “It’s very, very far from normal.”
I sighed and sat on the edge of her bed. “Listen, sweetheart—”
She slammed a stack of photographs into my hands. “When were you going to tell me that you and Gabriel knew each other?”
Her words left me in a tailspin as I looked down at the stack of pictures in my hand. Pictures of me and Gabriel as kids. Pictures of us as teenagers, wrapped in each other’s arms. In that moment, I was transported back to my childhood as I stared at his smile.
“Well?” she said. “Are you going to explain?”
“Ava…” I felt my stomach fill up with knots as I placed the photographs back in the box. “Don’t tell your father.”
“Were you two in love?” Ava asked, her words dripping in confusion. “Are you two in love? Oh my gosh!” she gasped as she leaped up from the bed to begin pacing the room. “Are you two having an affair?” she shouted.
“Shhh!” I ordered as I leaped up and shut her bedroom door. “No, we are not having an affair. I would never do that, Ava. Come on, be serious.”
“I am being serious, Mom! What the heck? Why are there pictures of you with Gabriel all cuddled up with each other? And why are you both pretending that you didn’t have a past together?”
“We aren’t pretending. Well, he’s not pretending. I’m just…” I was just what? Pretending. I was pretending. “It’s complicated, Ava.”
“Then uncomplicate, Mom.” Her eyes were packed with so much confusion, and I couldn’t blame her. “What’s going on?”
I sighed, debating the best way to unpack everything for her. How much was too much to share with a fourteen-year-old girl? It was clear that Ava was very wise for her age, but she was still, in fact, an adolescent. The balance between being a mother and a friend was always up in the air for me, but in that very moment, I went with the only option that felt right—the truth.
I sat back on the edge of her bed. “We grew up next to each other. He was first my enemy, then my friend, then my very best friend, and then…we dated for a short time.”
“Oh my gosh,” she remarked, taking a seat beside me. “Tell me everything.”
So I did. I told her every single memory of the man I once called mine. I told her the ups and downs of our story. And then I told her about the night that changed everything. I told her about Elijah. I told her about the promise I’d made to Amma, even though it made me feel awful. I told her everything and begged her to keep the secret, too, until Amma spoke about it to Gabriel.
By the end of me sharing, Ava had tears in her eyes.
Her hands sat in her lap as she shook her head. “You loved him.”
“Yes, I did.”
“And he loved you.”
“Yes,” I agreed, “he did.”
“And then he just…forgot?”
I nodded. “The accident was terrible. I’m stunned that we made it out of that wreck alive, truly. But Gabriel lost all his memories. He forgot everything about our relationship. His mom had a hard time with it and blamed me for the accident. They moved away shortly after, and I never heard from him again.”
“Until he showed up as Dad’s architect?”
“Yup.”
“And…he still has no clue who you are?”
“Nope.”
“Oh my gosh!” Ava gasped, covering her mouth. “This is some The Notebook shit.”
“Language, Ava.”
“Mom.” She groaned. “You can’t tell me that the first love of your life doesn’t remember you, but he randomly showed up as your architect years later and expect me not to cuss.”
You know what? Fair.
“It doesn’t matter, really. It was a long time ago, Ava. Ancient history. We’ve both moved on with our lives, and we both are happy where we are. That’s all that matters.”
“But, Mom—”
“No buts. We can’t keep looking to the past if we want to make it to the future.”
She frowned and shook her head. “But don’t you kind of wonder what would’ve happened if you two found each other again before meeting Dad? After you saw him, did you daydream a little about the what-ifs?”
Yes.
Repeatedly.
Even five minutes ago.
“No,” I lied. “I let him go the moment he moved away all those years ago. So, we should leave it at that. But it does kill me, him not knowing about his brother. It’s not my place to tell him, and I promised his mother I’d let her tell him, but I don’t think she ever will.”