Total pages in book: 127
Estimated words: 121460 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 607(@200wpm)___ 486(@250wpm)___ 405(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 121460 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 607(@200wpm)___ 486(@250wpm)___ 405(@300wpm)
Thane Adair was back from his first year at Glasgow Uni, but he had a summer job at an architectural firm in Inverness, so we saw little of him.
As for Arrochar, she was thirteen now and had a group of friends she spent the summer with, biking around Ardnoch. It surprised me Brodan was allowing his wee sister so much freedom. They were usually all over the poor lass. To my shock, Brodan had been pretty attentive to me the past few weeks. Not that he wasn’t an involved friend, but during last term, between his many casual hookups and the fact that I had a boyfriend, we’d definitely spent less time together.
Brodan seemed determined to change that this summer.
Since I no longer had a boyfriend, I had no reason not to spend the days with my best friend.
Another reason I was in a shitty mood.
Just wait, I thought as I followed Brodan into the castle. In a year’s time, I’d be graduating from high school and on my way to university, where surely I’d meet a boy who could make me fall out of love with my best friend.
As Brodan took a left instead of a right, I frowned. “Where are we going?”
Ardnoch Castle was too big for the family to afford to use the entire place. In fact, they only used a few rooms. The rest of the castle was dank, dark, and a bit creepy. As kids, we’d explored every inch too.
Brodan threw a smile over his shoulder and then grabbed my hand, pulling me along after him. I wanted to tighten my fingers around his, but forced myself not to. To my surprise, he led me to the door to the castle’s only turret.
“What are we doing?”
“C’mon.”
We climbed the narrow stone staircase within, up to the next door, and when we stepped out, I sucked in a breath.
As children, we played in the turret. It was our place, where we’d tell each other all our secrets. It was the place I’d finally told Brodan that my dad hurt me and where he’d begged me to tell someone. I’d pleaded with him in return to keep my secret, and he had until that fateful day almost five years ago.
Brodan had turned our place into a campout. He’d strung fairy lights everywhere, so it didn’t look so cold and gloomy. He brought in multiple sleeping bags, duvets, and a large picnic basket filled with snacks.
“What is this?” I asked him in wonder.
My best friend looked down at me. He was now taller than Thane, almost as tall as Lachlan. That put him exactly a foot taller than me. Not a comfortable height difference, and one of the many small reasons I compiled to remind myself that Brodan and I would never be more than friends.
I’d started dating Phil in December of last year because I knew it was time to move on from these feelings for Brodan. Sometimes, however, when he looked at me the way he was looking at me now, he made it really hard to forget that I was in love with him.
“I thought maybe if I brought you here …” He shrugged, looking around at the place filled with memories. “You’d talk to me.”
“Brodan—”
“Don’t.” He gave me a wounded look. “Don’t say you’re fine. I know you’re not. Did I do something? Is that why you won’t talk to me anymore?”
I shook my head, feeling guilty for shutting him out. “No, of course not.”
“Then why?” Those blue eyes were so hurt and troubled. “We haven’t even graduated yet, and I feel like I’m losing you. That fucking kills, Roe.”
This was the problem when you were as close as Brodan and me. We’d always told each other exactly how we were feeling. Never afraid to be vulnerable. Until I fell in love with him and closed down communication. Things between us had not been the same for a few years, but I’d acted my arse off so Brodan wouldn’t feel that distance.
I guessed I’d just grown tired of pretending.
That wasn’t his fault, though.
He didn’t ask me to fall in love with him.
“Talk to me,” Brodan pleaded.
With a sigh, I walked over to the bed of blankets and sleeping bags, kicked off my trainers, and sat, legs out, leaning back on my hands. Brodan took this in and approached, eyes glued to my face as if searching for something. He kicked off his trainers and sat beside me, mirroring my body language.
“Mum has been particularly shitty lately,” I told him quietly. “She keeps trying to talk me out of uni, telling me it’s a waste of my time, that I’ll fail. And everything I do around the house isn’t enough. My weekend job at the store isn’t enough.” I’d been working at the general store every weekend for over a year. “Never enough.” Apparently, that was a theme in my life. Sometimes it seemed impossible that I could feel so much for Brodan and not have him feel it back. Other boys found me attractive, so it really bloody stung that he didn’t.